Most of us have a longing to please others, otherwise, we wouldn’t be very social. Someone who doesn’t care at all about the opinion of others is called a sociopath. That desire to be social, however, can become a crippling addiction and hold you captive. Let’s look at the problem.
When I homeschooled my kids, I taught them a fact was something true, something you could prove, or a set of events that really happened. On the other hand, an opinion was someone’s interpretation of those facts. People observe you and form an opinion of you and of your choices. You can’t control that, even though I’d love to make everyone like me.
I recall when my daughter was little. She’d become furious with me if I chose to do something she didn’t like. As a mother, I knew I must pray and keep the future in mind as I made decisions for the family. That meant being strong when my decisions made my kids angry.
In the first century, the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the church at Corinth. Some of the church members had been baptized by Apollas and some by Paul, and they took sides, dividing up the body of Christ. One person would say he couldn’t participate in something because Apollos would not do that while someone else would insist on following a different teaching from another teacher. So Paul wrote the Corinthian church. Let’s look at what he said.
1 Corinthians 4:3 – 4 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges.
Isn’t’ that interesting? Paul brought them back to God, the one person who matters. God holds the position of judge, so he’s the one who matters. Getting to Paul’s position can be tricky. Today I have Jennifer Slattery. She’s going to share how the Lord helped her overcome her addiction to being a people pleaser.
Today’s media overwhelms us with talk of the sensual side of love. Clothing, perfume, toothpaste, and other merchandise will help you achieve‘sexy’ or ‘hot.’ TV and movies depict unmarried couples engaging in sex as if were no more important than lunch. As Christians, we believe sex belongs in marriage. The world might see our convictions as negative and prudish. But, on the positive side, since sex belongs in marriage, we should embrace and encourage sensuality in that context.
Years ago when I was shopping with my girls, I stopped to admire a fancy nightgown. One of my daughters looked horrified and commented that only a prostitute would wear such a garment. I knew right there it was time for a lesson, and I said,”Don’t ever call a married woman a prostitute.” Looking back, I probably came on too strong, because she frowned and walked off, rolling her eyes. But that’s a message the church needs to give to married couples and our young people. We should be shouting a big yes when we discuss sex after the ceremony.
I encourage women to be careful about relationships with men other than their husbands. Hormones work well. Things can make things get out of hand and create problems. I tend to be a little distant or even a little cold in that situation. Often I’ll address the man’s wife if she’s present. However, a woman can and should let go with her hubby. Come on, ladies. Flirt a little. It’s fun and appropriate. Check out Song of Solomon 1:2 where Solomon and his wife talk about their love for each other:”Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.”
Many of us, however, get a bit stuck because of our self-image or a painful past, but there’s hope. Shannon Ethridge is my guest for Valentine’s Day. She has geared her entire ministry toward helping women get past their hangups and enjoy sex.
Shannon Etheridge
To learn more about Shannon and her ministry, click here.
Women today are very busy. We all carry cell phones and have access to Facebook, Twitter, texting, Instagram and Pinterest and other social media. in addition to all our family responsibilities, we pack our calendar with activities to benefit out children and use our microwaves to prepare quick meals. Most of us don’t set aside much time to rest, even though we like the thought. I find it interesting that God talked about rest in the early chapters of Genesis, and it’s a huge theme in Scripture.
I believe God knew how crazy our lives would become. He talked about rest in the early chapters of Genesis. It’s a huge theme in Scripture. Consider Genesis 2:2. “And on the seventh day God finished his work, and he rested on the seventh day.” Take a moment and think about that. God doesn’t need anything, yet he rested once he completed the creation. I don’t think he rested because he was weary. God doesn’t get tired. Instead, he wanted to show us a pattern, a balance of work and rest. I really need that.
This was a typical day for me when my children were young: a crying child woke me in the morning, and I hurried out of bed to get breakfast while his sibling hung onto my housecoat whining. Another maddening day. I stopped a squabble while trying to pay bills and then hurried off to an appointment while watching kids poke each other in the back seat. Ballet, Bible study, runny noses, a hasty lunch, a child who won’t stop crying from a minor injury. Fifteen text messages and three phone calls. The postman needed my signature. All day I ran nonstop and then fell into bed and stared at the ceiling, wishing for sleep. I’d think about resting and laugh.
Does that sound like you?
Yet Hebrews 4: 9-10 says, “So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his.” What does God mean by Sabbath rest?
Today I have Gwyn McCaslin as my guest. She’s going to give us her thoughts on rest.
Gwyn is a counselor in Sugar Creek, Ohio. Learn more about her here.
I could win an award for worry. Years ago, when I attended nursing school, we studied various diseases while learning how to care for each type patient. As I read over the symptoms, I would swallow hard and remember having all those things happen to me. I’d decide I had that particular disease. After worrying over every malady we studied, I saw the pattern and tried to stop.
But I didn’t stop worrying, especially during those early years of marriage. If my husband was a little late coming home from work, I would imagine him in a smashed up car on the side of the road. He’d be dead every time. And then I’d envision the police coming to my door. At times when he was very late, I would think about what I might wear to his funeral. By that time, my emotions would be so intense, that I’d lose it when he walked in the door. The worry turned to fury, and I wouldn’t want to talk to him.
It took me a long time to understand how my thoughts produced anxiety, but I finally learned to pray about my fears and think about good things. It’s still hard, even today. Like a dog licks his wounds, I want to focus on the part of life that’s not right.
Philippians 4:6 says, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
Further along in the chapter, it says, “…whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
I believe God put those verses there just for me. As I grow older, I’m learning more and more ways to handle stress the right way.
Today I have Debra Coty with me. She’s a delightfully funny lady who has written a book called Too Blessed to be Stressed. She’s going to share her heart with us so we can even chuckle a little as we let go of anxiety.
She has a cookbook, Too Blessed to be Stressed Cookbook. This month her readers are competing in a contest to lose weight. You can learn more about Debora here.
