I’m a big fan of history, and I love to read diaries. Once I read a diary about a girl who lived just before the Civil War. She was an older adolescent at the time. One day she was visiting a friend, and as she walked down the hall, she saw a reflection in the mirror she assumed was her friend. Warm thoughts filled her mind about how lovely and poised she was. However, as she got closer to the sitting room, she realized the mirror was catching a reflection of her own face. She was amazed at how her opinion changed and she found fault with that same reflection she had formerly admired. At that moment she knew she would have liked what she saw if she saw herself from someone else’s perspective.
That story fascinates me because I think that represents what a lot of women feel. We look in the mirror and do not like what we see, yet we long to be attractive. For instance, I have curly hair. For years I wished for straight hair and went to lots of effort to make it appear less curly. As far as our abilities or talents, we don’t take those into account either.
Scripture says Greater love has no man than this, than a man lay down his life for a friend. (John 15:13) Jesus left behind his glory and even some of his privileges as God to lay down his life for us. If God loves us that much we are worth a lot.
If we are going to minister to others, we need to have healthy relationships valuing ourselves with our gifts and strengths as God does.
Tina Yeager is my guest today. She is a counselor and a life coach and this topic is one she will address today.
Mother’s Day: Mother and Daughter Duo: Rhonda and Kaley C0-Authors
As a little girl, I looked up to my mother. I can recall sitting on the couch beside her, her admiring her. She was pretty, smart, and was … a mother. I wanted to be like her. As I grew older and got into my teens, I began to feel like we didn’t communicate. We didn’t have a lot in common, or at least I thought so. There was a communication barrier there I failed to understand.
Now that she is gone, I understand her better because she wrote a lot, and I was able to get a peek inside her mind. And I know I’m a lot like her.
Mother’s Day receives mixed reviews. Some of you may have had great mothers, and you enjoy honoring her. Others had a difficult childhood and may try not to repeat the mistakes your mother made. I remember Mother’s day as painful after I lost my mother. Plus those of you with difficult children may find this season painful.
My heart goes out to all of you who might be hurting.
Today I’d like to give young mothers some guidance on doing well, overcoming obstacles and feeling confident in this important job.
I’m reminded of what Paul said to I Timothy: He obviously believed Timothy’s mother and grandmother impacted his life. “For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother, Lois, and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.”
My guests are Rhonda Rhea and her daughter Kaley. They are the authors of Turtles in the Road, an inspirational humorous romance that’s just releasing. They are both TV personalities for Christian Television Network’s KNLJ in mid-Missouri. Rhonda is also a nationally-known speaker, humor columnist and author of 11 other books, including Fix-Her-Upper, a soon-releasing nonfiction project coauthored with Beth Duewel. Rhonda is married to her pastor/husband, Richie Rhea, and they have five grown children. Kaley works at Missouri Baptist University and she and Rhonda both live in the St. Louis area.
Relationships: Living without Masks and being Safe
My daughter is grown and has her own kitty. Her cat loves to eat and is overweight. The vet has put kitty on a very strict diet, so she is careful how she feeds him. one day I was visiting Joy and the kitty was very obviously trying to get fed earlier than usual. As a veteran mom, I was watching her struggle with her cat, I had images of me trying to make my kids behave.
However, she saw me laughing and assumed I was worried about the cat, instead of enjoying the situation. She huffed into the kitchen and fed the cat early. At that point, I was very worried that she misunderstood me and thought I was pressuring her when I was not.
Later, I apologized and tried to make it clear what I was doing. I didn’t want this to be one of those things that became a tug of war between mother and daughter.
We are made to be in relationships, but the give and take of relationships is not easy.
Today I have Laura Petherbridge. We are going to talk about living openly and yet being safe.
1:55 Why shouldn’t you rescue your friends?
2:25 It feels like you are helping them. Why isn’t that true?
4:05 Could we be doing it because we have a poor self-image?
5:40 What’s the difference in enabling and helping an injured person?
10:20 What drives us to be people pleasers?
12:35 What if you cannot tell your spouse you need to work on your relationship? Isn’t that unhealthy?
14:45 What do you mean by marriage with a mask?
20:00 Why do hurting people hurt others?
23:00 Just becoming a Christian does not solve all your problems.
Someone actually advocates fighting? Wow. You’ll love their answers.
“The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable.” James 3:17
When you got married, you probably had stars in your eyes and romance in your heart. Many of us didn’t think much about the happily ever after part, but I grew up thinking peaceable meant hardly any conflict. Here’s a story about that.
We’ve all heard of the Victorian Age, and you probably have bad feelings about that time period. Well, Queen Victoria and her husband Albert were believers. That might surprise you, but they deliberately chose to set an example for the nation.
Victoria grew up in a home without a father. Her English father died when she was an infant, and her mother wasn’t particularly wise about getting along with people. Because her mother hoped to be regent when her daughter ascended the throne.
Victoria thought that no conflict was the goal in marriage. And she was queen. So when she married the man she loved, Prince Albert, she was in charge. And she gave him nothing to do. Plus the British constitution had no role for the prince consort. Well, it wasn’t long before Albert was quite frustrated.
The good news is that Albert was a strong believer, and he set a goal of ministering to his wife/family and the people of Britain. Their beginning was rocky. Victoria would get upset and scream. She was famed for her temper, but he was gentle and firm.
Not authentic, but it represents what actually went on. There’s a story told about Albert locking himself into a room. When she knocked he would ask who is there. If she said the queen. He wouldn’t allow her in. After a couple of years, he was able to convince her he had a better way. And together they built an incredible marriage which was the envy of Europe.
Tie the Knot—-Permanently: The key to wedded bliss
My guest, Rob Green talks about preparing to tie the knot and keep it tied. In other words, what actions can we take to get married and stay madly in love?
Most of us women have a romantic side. We love the idea of Cinderella, wedding dresses, flowers, and the happily ever after. But today many marriages don’t last. That’s not God’s plan. Look at this passage in Luke. “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?”
This passage speaks of preparing ahead of time before building. Any of us would educate ourselves before we started a business. You’d never think of offering your skills as a seamstress or as a book keeper or a nurse unless you studied and prepared. I believe the same holds true of marriage. Marriage is the first institution God founded, and we know from Ephesians that the relationship between a husband and wife is an analogy for Christ and the Church. Entering marriage should be sacred, and our vows held as sacred. Many today think too lightly of marriage or don’t even bother to marry. Some are even fearful of marriage and decide to live together instead.
My guest offers hope. Rob Green is a counseling pastor, and he shares his experience with lots of couples who struggle to hold it together. Listen to his interview for answers:
Find problem-solving strategies 18:34.
1:52, Rob shares why it’s important to be committed to Christ.
Are you afraid of marriage? 5:57.
The world loves a romance. Go to 7:28.
Access tools to love and serve your spouse? You’ll find that at 9:25.
What about submission? You’ll hear Rob’s answer at 11:35
Greg and Julie Gorman believe your marriage can do more than survive; it can thrive. Let me explain with a story.
My grandmother lived about thirty miles from us, and at times, my mother would allow me to spend a week with my grandmother. It was an adventure, particularly that she had cats, and they fascinated me.
Granny used to wash clothes using a wringer type washer. And that was terribly old-fashioned at that time, cause mom had a real washing machine. But a wringer washing machine would wash the clothes, but not rinse. So Granny would get these huge buckets of clear water, and put the soapy clothes in there. She’d run them through the ringer into the next bucket of clean water. While she was doing that, she would ‘allow’ me to wash the cats.
Now, if you know cats, they hate water. But Granny wasn’t bothered about that. She said you couldn’t ever drown a cat. Well, I heard that I was gonna try. Now I got all scratched up, but I wrestled one of Granny’s cats and until it gave up. Now I was kind enough that I didn’t go on to kill the kitty. But I had to prove granny wrong. All that to say, God is very very creative. I would never have thought of all that. Really! God said, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways.”
I’m sure if it was up to me, I would not have made everyone in the church have a different spiritual gift. I would have had everyone alike so they wouldn’t argue. But God made everyone different. Some are good at some things, while others excel elsewhere. That’s the way God made families too. Husbands and wives are different. Once I got married, my husband saw my emotions and said I wasn’t logical. I wanted to remind him I graduated with honors.
Today I have Greg and Julie Gorman. They have just written Two are Better than One, and I love their perspective on marriage. They teach God has a purpose for your Marriage. It can thrive!
[tweetthis]Your Marriage can thrive[/tweetthis]
[tweetthis]God has a purpose for your marriage[/tweetthis]