God made us to have relationships with others. If only we didn’t have to work at maintaining them.
Whenever I think of people, I think of the verse in Romans 12 that says, “If possible, as far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
That’s a huge assignment, however, remember God left some provisos in there. God put the words ‘If possible’ and ‘so far as it depends on you’ in that verse because you will find someone you can’t get along with, regardless of how hard you try. But this verse makes me work hard to be gentle with people, and love them. I like to think of each person as someone Jesus died for, and that thought changes how I relate to others. Normally, I like to get things done, and sometimes people can appear to be obstacles. So, I have to remind myself how valuable they are in the eyes of God, realizing that if I have an enemy, it’s not them. The spiritual world will array against folk who want to obey God, and I remember to pray against those unseen forces while being kind to people.
It also helps to remind myself God didn’t make everyone like me. He installed creative thinkers, artists, scientists and builders in the world, and I am part of his plan, just not the whole plan. Romans 12: 3 tells us not to think more highly of ourselves that we ought, but to see ourselves with sober judgment. I believe that means we see ourselves as a vital part of God’s church. Not the whole thing. But important.
As someone who’d rather get the job done yesterday, I have to remember relationships take time. Rather than think about what I need to get done next, I need to be willing to talk to people and really listen. If I hear what they say, I can get excited about things they care about. People enjoy having someone listen, and they are more likely to listen to me, if I care about them.
Peggy Sue Wells is writing about the Five Rs of Relationships, and she’s going to share her thoughts today.
I’m a big fan of history, and I love to read diaries. Once I read a diary about a girl who lived just before the Civil War. She was an older adolescent at the time. One day she was visiting a friend, and as she walked down the hall, she saw a reflection in the mirror she assumed was her friend. Warm thoughts filled her mind about how lovely and poised she was. However, as she got closer to the sitting room, she realized the mirror was catching a reflection of her own face. She was amazed at how her opinion changed and she found fault with that same reflection she had formerly admired. At that moment she knew she would have liked what she saw if she saw herself from someone else’s perspective.
That story fascinates me because I think that represents what a lot of women feel. We look in the mirror and do not like what we see, yet we long to be attractive. For instance, I have curly hair. For years I wished for straight hair and went to lots of effort to make it appear less curly. As far as our abilities or talents, we don’t take those into account either.
Scripture says Greater love has no man than this, than a man lay down his life for a friend. (John 15:13) Jesus left behind his glory and even some of his privileges as God to lay down his life for us. If God loves us that much we are worth a lot.
If we are going to minister to others, we need to have healthy relationships valuing ourselves with our gifts and strengths as God does.
Tina Yeager is my guest today. She is a counselor and a life coach and this topic is one she will address today.
Mother’s Day: Mother and Daughter Duo: Rhonda and Kaley C0-Authors
As a little girl, I looked up to my mother. I can recall sitting on the couch beside her, her admiring her. She was pretty, smart, and was … a mother. I wanted to be like her. As I grew older and got into my teens, I began to feel like we didn’t communicate. We didn’t have a lot in common, or at least I thought so. There was a communication barrier there I failed to understand.
Now that she is gone, I understand her better because she wrote a lot, and I was able to get a peek inside her mind. And I know I’m a lot like her.
Mother’s Day receives mixed reviews. Some of you may have had great mothers, and you enjoy honoring her. Others had a difficult childhood and may try not to repeat the mistakes your mother made. I remember Mother’s day as painful after I lost my mother. Plus those of you with difficult children may find this season painful.
My heart goes out to all of you who might be hurting.
Today I’d like to give young mothers some guidance on doing well, overcoming obstacles and feeling confident in this important job.
I’m reminded of what Paul said to I Timothy: He obviously believed Timothy’s mother and grandmother impacted his life. “For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother, Lois, and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.”
My guests are Rhonda Rhea and her daughter Kaley. They are the authors of Turtles in the Road, an inspirational humorous romance that’s just releasing. They are both TV personalities for Christian Television Network’s KNLJ in mid-Missouri. Rhonda is also a nationally-known speaker, humor columnist and author of 11 other books, including Fix-Her-Upper, a soon-releasing nonfiction project coauthored with Beth Duewel. Rhonda is married to her pastor/husband, Richie Rhea, and they have five grown children. Kaley works at Missouri Baptist University and she and Rhonda both live in the St. Louis area.
Relationships: Living without Masks and being Safe
My daughter is grown and has her own kitty. Her cat loves to eat and is overweight. The vet has put kitty on a very strict diet, so she is careful how she feeds him. one day I was visiting Joy and the kitty was very obviously trying to get fed earlier than usual. As a veteran mom, I was watching her struggle with her cat, I had images of me trying to make my kids behave.
However, she saw me laughing and assumed I was worried about the cat, instead of enjoying the situation. She huffed into the kitchen and fed the cat early. At that point, I was very worried that she misunderstood me and thought I was pressuring her when I was not.
Later, I apologized and tried to make it clear what I was doing. I didn’t want this to be one of those things that became a tug of war between mother and daughter.
We are made to be in relationships, but the give and take of relationships is not easy.
Today I have Laura Petherbridge. We are going to talk about living openly and yet being safe.
1:55 Why shouldn’t you rescue your friends?
2:25 It feels like you are helping them. Why isn’t that true?
4:05 Could we be doing it because we have a poor self-image?
5:40 What’s the difference in enabling and helping an injured person?
10:20 What drives us to be people pleasers?
12:35 What if you cannot tell your spouse you need to work on your relationship? Isn’t that unhealthy?
14:45 What do you mean by marriage with a mask?
20:00 Why do hurting people hurt others?
23:00 Just becoming a Christian does not solve all your problems.