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People-Pleaser Recovery

March 18, 2016
People Pleasers

 

People-Pleaser Recovery:

Most of us have a longing to please others, otherwise, we wouldn’t be very social. Someone who doesn’t care at all about the opinion of others is called a sociopath. That desire to be social, however,  can become a crippling addiction and hold you captive. Let’s look at the problem.

When I homeschooled my kids, I taught them a fact was something  true, something you could prove, or a set of events that really happened. On the other hand, an opinion was someone’s interpretation of those facts. People observe you and form an opinion of you and of your choices. You can’t control that, even though I’d love to make everyone like me.

I recall when my daughter was little. She’d become furious with me if I chose to do something she didn’t like. As a mother, I knew I must pray and keep the future in mind as I made decisions for the family. That meant being strong when my decisions made my kids angry.

In the first century, the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the church at Corinth. Some of the church members had been baptized by Apollas and some by Paul, and they took sides, dividing up the body of Christ. One person would say he couldn’t participate in something because Apollos would not do that while someone else would insist on following a different teaching from another teacher.  So Paul wrote the Corinthian church.  Let’s look at what he said.

1 Corinthians 4:3 – 4 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges.

Isn’t’ that interesting? Paul brought them back to God, the one person who matters. God holds the position of judge, so he’s the one who matters. Getting to Paul’s position can be tricky. Today I have Jennifer Slattery. She’s going to share how the Lord helped her overcome her addiction to being a people pleaser.

Jennifer Slattery

Jennifer Slattery

You can find Jennifer’s website here.

 

 

Bible, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Design, Doing Family God's Way, Educating your children, Family, Heart of the Matter, Home Atmosphere, Leaving a legacy, Love, Making choices, Marriage, Mothering, Parenting, Responsiblity, Safety, Time, Walking by Faith

Creating Peaceful Homes

March 12, 2016
Pat Ennis shares from her experiences

Creating Peaceful Homes

You may have heard that joke if the mother’s not happy, nobody’s happy. How true! The wife, the mother creates the atmosphere of the home, and a peaceful ambiance provides the best place for everyone to thrive. Katheryn von Bora, also known as Katie Luther, the wife of the Reformer, gave us a fabulous example. She created a boarding house in Luther’s former monastery, and she purchased farms to provide for her family, staff, needy beggars, and students. In the context of the dinner table, Luther discussed Scripture around the dinner table, passing along a legacy of his faith. Students later published these as ‘table talk’ giving insight to the next generation. What what an impact she had. How can our lives have such an influence?

The Bible gives a description of a Godly woman in Titus 2:5. “. . .self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.” How interesting God mentions us ‘working at home.’ Today that’s not popular. Our culture demands we have some separate profession because just being a wife and mother is beneath us. Certainly the lady in Proverbs thirty-one had several, but she worked out of her home. “She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Women have varied gifts, but God designed us as nurturers to play a key role in the lives of our husbands and children. Who else should we trust to raise our offspring?

Pat Ennis is my guest today. She directs the Home Economics Department at Southwestern Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas. Her book, God is My Strength, deals with many issues wives and mothers face today. Listen to her insights on creating a peaceful and nurturing atmosphere in your home.

Author, Speaker, Teacher

Pat Ennis

Learn more about Pat Ennis here.

 

Balance, Bible, Boundaries, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Family, Goals, Heart of the Matter, Leaving a legacy, Making choices, Marriage, Ministry using your gift, Organization, Parenting, Prayer, Time, Walking by Faith, Work

Never Enough Time? Learn Time Management

March 4, 2016
Col Brandon the kitty

Never Enough Time?

What is time? Seconds become minutes, and minutes become hours. Likewise, hours become days and years. Those minutes, hours and days make a lifetime.  The rhythm of time controls our lives, and in our busy world, we often feel we never have enough. God created time and he has an eternal overarching plan he’s working out. We know he cares about when things happen. He told Abraham that “… At the appointed time I will return to you. . . and Sarah shall have a son.” Solomon said, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant, and a time to uproot what is planted, a time to break down and a time to build up…”

The apostle Paul added to that thought in Ephesians: “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”  And in Psalms we see, “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” As I age, I realize I won’t live forever here on earth. It makes me more serious about how I use time.

In order to make wise use of those moments God gave us, we’ll need to learn time management. Someone noted that if we did all the things experts recommend, like brushing your teeth a certain number of minutes, or getting the correct amount of exercise, you’d need more that twenty-four hours in a day. That means we need to decide what’s important to us and set goals.

Sheryl Giesbrecht is my guest today. When she faced stage four cancer, she gave a lot of thought to her remaining years. Listen and learn from her.

Author and Speaker

Sheryl Giesbrecht

You can find out more about Sheryl here.

 

Authority of Scripture, Bible, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Design, Doing Family God's Way, Educating your children, Emotions, Family, Heart of the Matter, Love, Making choices, Parenting, Sex, Walking by Faith, Work

A Life-Giving Marriage

February 19, 2016
Ray and Cynthia

Traits of a life-giving marriage:

Marriage. That word brings all sorts of thoughts and images to mind. Some are bad and others wonderful.  However, since God created it, let’s go to the beginning of time and look at the original plan. God created Adam and asked him to name all the animals. After fulfilling that assignment all day, Adam realized he didn’t have a mate. (What a great teaching technique.)  No one corresponded to him. Imagine his delight when God showed up with Eve. She was taken from him. Amazing! I bet she was pretty, and I wonder if she wore a flower in her hair. Either way, Adam probably felt overwhelmed.

Right away God performed the first marriage and then blessed the new couple with a job. He gave them dominion over the earth and the power to have children. Adam understood. He called his wife Eve because she would be the mother of all living. The children they had formed the first family.

God’s purposes for mankind still centers around the family. It’s no wonder Satan targets marriage. If he destroys that, so many other things tumble down. The families of the next generation suffer as well as businesses, churches, and nations because people get hurt. Just think, how many people tell stories of their dysfunctional home or difficult childhood. These people have a multitude of issues to overcome because of the damage in their formative years. Yes, the Lord can heal, but it’s a good idea to work at building our marriages.

How can we strengthen our marriage so it truly bestows life to our spouse and our children? Sue Detweiler is my guest. She has written a book on this topic, and she’s going to give us some clues by sharing a few of her own struggles.

Author and Speaker

Sue Detweiler

Learn more about Sue here.

 

Bible, Boundaries, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Dating, Design, Doing Family God's Way, Educating your children, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Guilt, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Prayer, Romance, Sex, Stress Reduction, Trust, Valentine's Day, Walking by Faith

Valentine’s Day: Love Your Husband

February 12, 2016
Love Your Husband

Valentine’s Day: Love Your Huband:

Today’s media overwhelms us with talk of the sensual side of love. Clothing, perfume, toothpaste, and other merchandise will help you achieve‘sexy’ or ‘hot.’ TV and movies depict unmarried couples engaging in sex as if were no more important than lunch. As Christians, we believe sex belongs in marriage. The world might see our convictions as negative and prudish. But, on the positive side, since sex belongs in marriage, we should embrace and encourage sensuality in that context. 

 Years ago when I was shopping with my girls, I stopped to admire a fancy nightgown. One of my daughters looked horrified and commented that only a prostitute would wear such a garment. I knew right there it was time for a lesson, and I said,”Don’t ever call a married woman a prostitute.” Looking back, I probably came on too strong, because she frowned and walked off, rolling her eyes. But that’s a message the church needs to give to married couples and our young people. We should be shouting a big yes when we discuss sex after the ceremony.

 I encourage women to be careful about relationships with men other than their husbands. Hormones work well. Things can make things get out of hand and create problems. I tend to be a little distant or even a little cold in that situation. Often I’ll address the man’s wife if she’s present. However, a woman can and should let go with her hubby. Come on, ladies. Flirt a little. It’s fun and appropriate. Check out Song of Solomon 1:2 where Solomon and his wife talk about their love for each other:”Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.”

Many of us, however, get a bit stuck because of our self-image or a painful past, but there’s hope. Shannon Ethridge is my guest for Valentine’s Day. She has geared her entire ministry toward helping women get past their hangups and enjoy sex.

Best Selling author and Speaker

Shannon Etheridge

To learn more about Shannon and her ministry, click here

 

 

 

Authority of Scripture, Boundaries, Church, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Doing Family God's Way, Educating your children, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Freedom, Heart of the Matter, Leaving a legacy, Love, Making choices, Marriage, Parenting, Perseverance, Respect, Responsiblity, Truth, Walking by Faith

Pass it On: Parenting Tips

February 5, 2016
Parenting tips found here

Pass it on: Parenting tips:

How can we take our role as parents very seriously and prepare our children for the future? We should always make our priorities the same as God’s. Let’s look at the Bible to see what God has to say. He gave us two mandates. The first was the creation mandate when he established marriage. Genesis one says, “And God blessed them [man and woman], And God said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.'” That verse has two commands. The first is to have children and the second is to exercise authority over creation. God wanted a world filled with people, just as we have today. Plus he wanted people to learn the laws of nature and utilize the world’s resources for our good. In a time when many choose not to have offspring, that’s good to know.

The second mandate is to the church in Matthew 28:19 “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” The command is to make disciples, a process of teaching a biblical mindset. In both the Old and New Testaments, God said he wanted a people of his own. Look at 1 Peter 2:9 “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

How exciting to be chosen by God, to be a royal priesthood, to be part of a holy nation. Our role as Christian parents is to proclaim the excellencies of Jesus, to share the sweetness of his love.

Let’s talk about how we can fulfill that that second mandate with our children: making them disciples of Jesus.

Today I have Jeremy Lee. He’s founder of Parent Ministry and also the co-author of Pass It On, who teaches building a legacy of faith in your children.

Offers parenting tips

Jeremy Lee

Learn more about Jeremy Lee here.

 

Balance, Bible, Boundaries, Church, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Design, Educating your children, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Fellowship with believers, Freedom, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Parenting, Praise, Prayer, Responsiblity, Rest, Stress Reduction, Technology, Walking by Faith, Work

Finding Rest Amidst Busy Lives

January 29, 2016
Rest isn't optional

Finding Rest Amidst Busy Lives

Women today are very busy. We all carry cell phones and have access to Facebook, Twitter, texting, Instagram and Pinterest and other social media. in addition to all our family responsibilities, we pack our calendar with activities to benefit out children and use our microwaves to prepare quick meals. Most of us don’t set aside much time to rest, even though we like the thought. I find it interesting that God talked about rest in the early chapters of Genesis, and it’s a huge theme in Scripture.

I believe God knew how crazy our lives would become. He talked about rest in the early chapters of Genesis. It’s a huge theme in Scripture. Consider Genesis 2:2. “And on the seventh day God finished his work, and he rested on the seventh day.” Take a moment and think about that. God doesn’t need anything, yet he rested once he completed the creation. I don’t think he rested because he was weary. God doesn’t get tired. Instead, he wanted to show us a pattern, a balance of work and rest. I really need that.

This was a typical day for me when my children were young: a crying child woke me in the morning, and I hurried out of bed to get breakfast while his sibling hung onto my housecoat whining. Another maddening day. I stopped a squabble while trying to pay bills and then hurried off to an appointment while watching kids poke each other in the back seat. Ballet, Bible study, runny noses, a hasty lunch, a child who won’t stop crying from a minor injury. Fifteen text messages and three phone calls. The postman needed my signature.  All day I ran nonstop and then fell into bed and stared at the ceiling, wishing for sleep. I’d think about resting and laugh.

Does that sound like you?

Yet Hebrews 4: 9-10 says, “So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his.” What does God mean by Sabbath rest?

Today I have Gwyn McCaslin as my guest. She’s going to give us her thoughts on rest.

Gwyn is a counselor in Sugar Creek, Ohio. Learn more about her here.

You can learn more about rest here.

Marriage and Family Counselor

Counselor Gwyn McCaslin

Anger, Bible, chocolate, Church, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Crying out to God, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Freedom, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Laugh, Living through heartache, Parenting, Prayer, Stress Reduction, Walking by Faith, Worry

Too Blessed to be Stressed

January 23, 2016

Too Blessed to Be Stressed

I could win an award for worry. Years ago, when I attended nursing school, we studied various diseases while learning how to care for each type patient. As I read over the symptoms, I would swallow hard and remember having all those things happen to me. I’d decide I had that particular disease. After worrying over every malady we studied, I saw the pattern and tried to stop.

But I didn’t stop worrying, especially during those early years of marriage. If my husband was a little late coming home from work, I would imagine him in a smashed up car on the side of the road. He’d be dead every time. And then I’d envision the police coming to my door. At times when he was very late, I would think about what I might wear to his funeral. By that time, my emotions would be so intense, that I’d lose it when he walked in the door. The worry turned to fury, and I wouldn’t want to talk to him.

It took me a long time to understand how my thoughts produced anxiety, but I finally learned to pray about my fears and think about good things. It’s still hard, even today. Like a dog licks his wounds, I want to focus on the part of life that’s not right.

Philippians 4:6 says, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Further along in the chapter, it says, “…whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

I believe God put those verses there just for me. As I grow older, I’m learning more and more ways to handle stress the right way.

Today I have Debra Coty with me. She’s a delightfully funny lady who has written a book called Too Blessed to be Stressed. She’s going to share her heart with us so we can even chuckle a little as we let go of anxiety.

She has a cookbook, Too Blessed to be Stressed Cookbook. This month her readers are competing in a contest to lose weight. You can learn more about Debora here.

Authority of Scripture, Bible, Bondage breaker, Christmas, Church, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Crying out to God, Design, Doing Family God's Way, Educating your children, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Forgiveness, Freedom, Guilt, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Prayer, surrender, Truth, Walking by Faith

Be a Bondage Breaker

January 15, 2016
Broken Chains

Be a Bondage Breaker

Surely everyone would want to be released from bondage.  Right? You can be a bondage breaker.

There’s an interesting story told in the OT about that.

Theologians dubbed Jeremiah the weeping prophet. He had to deliver bad news and was often despondent. The spiritual failures of his nation tormented him because God had revealed his plan. Bondage. Jeremiah didn’t want his job, but the heartrending message burned inside him. He worked hard delivering God’s decrees, even employing creative imagery. His fellow citizens, however, preferred the soothing messages of the false prophets. Despite Jeremiah’s concern, his people plotted against him and threw him into prison. What a burden he carried.

Jeremiah had prophesied an upcoming invasion. And As he predicted, in 605 B.C. the Babylonians attacked and carried away the first captives. Daniel another prophet in the Old Testament was in that group. King Nebuchadnezzar deposed the King Jehoiachin who reigned in Jerusalem and placed Zedekiah, a man Nebuchadnezzar thought he could control.

Now, I don’t know about you, but after that incident, I like to think I would have listened to Jeremiah. He was correct. But most of the people continued living exactly the same way. Ignoring the alarm. After that event, Jeremiah predicted the fall of Jerusalem

I find it so interesting that King Zedekiah called Jeremiah to the palace and asked him what to do. Jeremiah told the king he would live if he gave himself up to the King of Babylon. The king refused and suffered the fated Jeremiah predicted.

I can relate to this story. I want our nation to turn back to God and avoid the judgment that will come. I want to be a bondage breaker.

Singer and song writer, Dennis Jernigan is my guest today. He’s written a book and completed a video series called, Stand in Love. It’s for churches and others who want to break their bondage.

Learn more about Dennis and his ministry here.

Writer and singer

Dennis Jernigan

Broken Chains

Bondage Breaker

 

Bible, Cancer, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Death, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Family Dinner, Freedom, Grief, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Leaving a legacy, Living through heartache, Love, Parenting, Prayer, Trust, Truth, Walking by Faith, Worry

Love a Dying Friend

January 9, 2016
Jill and Kara's story

Love a Dying Friend? What a tough assignment! But let’s start at the beginning of the problem.

All of us, realize something is wrong. We live in a world of disappointment, sadness, sorrow, and misery. However, God designed us to live in perfect world, without pain. We can share times sorrow left us devastated, empty and alone.  Even those of us who grew up in healthy families can share deep hurts. For instance, in ninth grade I took Spanish. To master the language, my friend and I wrote each other notes. Someone ridiculed me in front of an entire class for that. That’s nothing compared to what others have suffered, but it was pain. I was embarrassed and devastated.

My grandmother moved into our house when I was young, and I suffered verbal abuse at her hands. She made me feel worthless and useless. I could never please her. Even now at times I feel like I don’t measure up.

Ladies, I believe Satan finds a way to leave an ugly mark on us all.

Romans 8:22 – 23 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

I feel that groan, and I’m sure you do also.

What a blessing when someone comes alongside as a friend and shares that pain. I think about that passage in Hebrews three that says “But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called “Today,”

Today I have Jill Buteyan. She just completed a book called Just Show Up.  She walked alongside a dear friend suffering with cancer and she gives advice on how to do that.

Learn more about Jill’s friend here.

Learn more about Jill here.

Her facebook is here.

Twitter: @JillLynn

Author Jill Buteyan

Jill Buteyan

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