Relationships: Living without Masks and being Safe
My daughter is grown and has her own kitty. Her cat loves to eat and is overweight. The vet has put kitty on a very strict diet, so she is careful how she feeds him. one day I was visiting Joy and the kitty was very obviously trying to get fed earlier than usual. As a veteran mom, I was watching her struggle with her cat, I had images of me trying to make my kids behave.
However, she saw me laughing and assumed I was worried about the cat, instead of enjoying the situation. She huffed into the kitchen and fed the cat early. At that point, I was very worried that she misunderstood me and thought I was pressuring her when I was not.
Later, I apologized and tried to make it clear what I was doing. I didn’t want this to be one of those things that became a tug of war between mother and daughter.
We are made to be in relationships, but the give and take of relationships is not easy.
Today I have Laura Petherbridge. We are going to talk about living openly and yet being safe.
1:55 Why shouldn’t you rescue your friends?
2:25 It feels like you are helping them. Why isn’t that true?
4:05 Could we be doing it because we have a poor self-image?
5:40 What’s the difference in enabling and helping an injured person?
10:20 What drives us to be people pleasers?
12:35 What if you cannot tell your spouse you need to work on your relationship? Isn’t that unhealthy?
14:45 What do you mean by marriage with a mask?
20:00 Why do hurting people hurt others?
23:00 Just becoming a Christian does not solve all your problems.
Lasting Love: A Story from History with Angela Breidenbach
Doesn’t everyone want lasting love?
We have just celebrated Valentine’s Day. Now everyone is either eating candy or watching their flowers wilt or wishing someone gave them candy and roses. Our society suffers from an obsession with love, and yet we can’t even define it. We love our homes, our cars, our pets, and our spouses. Whenever this emotion takes hold of us we must obey its bidding. We can fall in love and out of love quickly. Using Scripture, we can define love. (Of course, we have to go back to 30 a.d. to the time when the church began. the disciples wrote what they learned from Jesus.) The love God has for us is called agape. It’s a love that impacts the will, seeking the best for the one loved. Agape not based primarily
Using Scripture, however, we can define love. (Of course, we have to go back to 30 a.d. to the time when the church began. The disciples wrote what they learned from Jesus.) The love God has for us is called agape. It’s a love that impacts the will, seeking the best for the one loved. Agape is not based primarily in the emotions, although emotion comes along with it. Jesus demonstrated agape when he came to earth. He left his glory behind and came to die for our sins.
Agape love does unselfish acts of service regardless of what the emotions appear to dictate. This is the kind of love that lasts. Ladies, you and I know our emotions ride a roller coaster depending on the state of our hormones and the amount of sleep we get. If we truly care about someone, we will agape love them whether we feel the emotion or not. Many times, we choose to act, and those emotions come later.
Today Angela Breidenbach shares a story of love from the history of her family:
3:50 Your grandfather married your grandmother to keep her reputation?
Doesn’t everyone long for that perfect spouse that loves her forever? How can you achieve that?
There’s a huge interest in genealogical research today. People want to know their family tree, and they’ll go to great lengths to do that. Because of the internet, more information of that kind is available. There are several online sites where you can find such information if you are willing to pay. Even in a sluggish economy, people opt in. Family is important, but broken relationships there can also be the more painful than any other. While friendships may not last, we often we don’t expect as much from our friends as we do family.
It’s interesting that while we long to know our family tree. Marrigaes are falling apart. The divorce rate is ridiciulous and many couples aren’t even getting married now. But let’s face it. From Genesis, Marriage forms the core of family. God preformed the first wedding ceremony. A man and a woman had a child and that was the family.
We are nearing valentines day, and there’s talk of love. Because of this emotion, love, people insist they must act as they feel. Red roses and chocolate candy can be found everywhere. Do those things constitute the kind of love that lasts? if not, then why?
Today I have Dianne Barker, and she has been married to the same man for fifty years. Presently she is writing a book about how to have a good marriage. She’s going to give us some tips. 2:00 Tell us the story of your marriage.
8:25 What were some of the differences you saw and how did you learn to accommodate?
11:47 Resolving Conflict
17:10 What if something he said hurt your feelings? What would you do?
21:45 How does your husband express love?
23:00 How did you come to understand how he expressed love?
I can recall when I was a child in class. We were getting ready to study the human body, and I was so excited to learn what my internal organs did. I had some strange idea that my organs did wonderful things for the world. How disappointing to discover they merely kept me alive. Of course, in adolescence, the question of identity rose.Those questions are important to ask because it’s difficult to live without meaning.On the other hand, it’s very easy to build our self-worth around what we do.
When I finished school, I became a nurse, but I gave up that career to raise five children. That made me really sad, but I’ve been giving up my whole life in some ways. Later I found myself as a young mother who nursed her babies, but that didn’t last either. I grieved that role when I weaned my youngest child. Then I saw myself as a homeschool mother. That job lasted longer, but that distinction disappeared also. Each time my job description changed, I felt pain and had to adjust. I had to rethink life as a child of God. Someone Jesus loved and died for, but that transition can be tough.
Sometimes life really falls apart. How can we pull the shreds of life back together? How can we get through those times of disappointment when we wonder who we are?
Cynthia Rutchti is my guest. She has written Song of Silence. In this novel, the main character loses her gifting and finds herself afloat.
4:30 The main character, Lucy, was giving to others from her gift of music. How can we find that sweet spot so we can bless those around us?
6:30 Lucy was based on a real person who ministered through music.
8:40 Music contains rests, and Lucy taught her students to ‘play the rests.’ How can we do that by using those hard times in life?
10:10 What if we resist that reset time?
11:20 What does a healthy identity look like? How can Christians get there?
13:50 How can we achieve a healthy marriage in later years like Lucy and her husband?
16:25 Lucy’s family did things to comfort her she didn’t like. How can we avoid facing that in a crisis?
19:00 Lucy’s doctor sent her to a club. What was that great idea about?
Tie the Knot—-Permanently: The key to wedded bliss
My guest, Rob Green talks about preparing to tie the knot and keep it tied. In other words, what actions can we take to get married and stay madly in love?
Most of us women have a romantic side. We love the idea of Cinderella, wedding dresses, flowers, and the happily ever after. But today many marriages don’t last. That’s not God’s plan. Look at this passage in Luke. “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?”
This passage speaks of preparing ahead of time before building. Any of us would educate ourselves before we started a business. You’d never think of offering your skills as a seamstress or as a book keeper or a nurse unless you studied and prepared. I believe the same holds true of marriage. Marriage is the first institution God founded, and we know from Ephesians that the relationship between a husband and wife is an analogy for Christ and the Church. Entering marriage should be sacred, and our vows held as sacred. Many today think too lightly of marriage or don’t even bother to marry. Some are even fearful of marriage and decide to live together instead.
Rob Green
My guest offers hope. Rob Green is a counseling pastor, and he shares his experience with lots of couples who struggle to hold it together. Listen to his interview for answers:
Find problem-solving strategies 18:34.
1:52, Rob shares why it’s important to be committed to Christ.
Are you afraid of marriage? 5:57.
The world loves a romance. Go to 7:28.
Access tools to love and serve your spouse? You’ll find that at 9:25.
What about submission? You’ll hear Rob’s answer at 11:35
Greg and Julie Gorman believe your marriage can do more than survive; it can thrive. Let me explain with a story.
My grandmother lived about thirty miles from us, and at times, my mother would allow me to spend a week with my grandmother. It was an adventure, particularly that she had cats, and they fascinated me.
Granny used to wash clothes using a wringer type washer. And that was terribly old-fashioned at that time, cause mom had a real washing machine. But a wringer washing machine would wash the clothes, but not rinse. So Granny would get these huge buckets of clear water, and put the soapy clothes in there. She’d run them through the ringer into the next bucket of clean water. While she was doing that, she would ‘allow’ me to wash the cats.
Now, if you know cats, they hate water. But Granny wasn’t bothered about that. She said you couldn’t ever drown a cat. Well, I heard that I was gonna try. Now I got all scratched up, but I wrestled one of Granny’s cats and until it gave up. Now I was kind enough that I didn’t go on to kill the kitty. But I had to prove granny wrong. All that to say, God is very very creative. I would never have thought of all that. Really! God said, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways.”
I’m sure if it was up to me, I would not have made everyone in the church have a different spiritual gift. I would have had everyone alike so they wouldn’t argue. But God made everyone different. Some are good at some things, while others excel elsewhere. That’s the way God made families too. Husbands and wives are different. Once I got married, my husband saw my emotions and said I wasn’t logical. I wanted to remind him I graduated with honors.
Today I have Greg and Julie Gorman. They have just written Two are Better than One, and I love their perspective on marriage. They teach God has a purpose for your Marriage. It can thrive!
Tweetables:
[tweetthis]Your Marriage can thrive[/tweetthis]
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