Forgiving can be the hardest thing you do, especially when you must forgive yourself.
When I was in high school, I got a job as a waitress. I don’t think I was a very good one. Looking back, I realize I was very young, and I didn’t know how to handle stress, and that’s what you face as a waitress.
I made mistakes. Tons. A busy night everything went wrong with one table. A lady in the party complained about having too much salad dressing on her salad. I took it to the back and asked for another one, but the everyone felt overwhelmed by the crowds. And he was helping others.
The manager made her another one, but he didn’t hear me say to put the dressing on the side, and I was too shy to tell him he did it wrong. So I took the new salad to her and that made even more angry.
For some reason, they didn’t have certain pieces of silverware, which made no sense because I always took a packet of utensils first. However, they still weren’t happy when I delivered them.
When they left the hostess called me up the register and scolded me again in front of the clients for doing a terrible job. I didn’t really need that because they had already screamed at me enough, but I was almost ready to cry by the time the hostess finished with me.
Once I mess up, I have a hard time letting go of my own emotions. They nag me, and I only feel worse as the day wears on. I’m sure the hostess spoke out of concern for the restaurant’s reputation, but I could hardly drag myself out of the pit that day. I couldn’t offer myself forgiveness.
When we hurt someone’s feelings, it creates a debt of sort. That
other person wants the wrong corrected by replacing what they lost and or and
apology.
In a family someone can hurt us over and over, which makes forgiveness really hard. Because we know they will probably do it again.
Today I have Lindsey Brackett, and she wrote a book called Still Waters, where forgiveness is a very big theme.
Forgiveness can be hard. I will give an example. Once years ago, someone in authority hurt me and my husband deeply. I recall staying up all night crying at the horror. This individual thought we were overly sensitive and never acknowledged his deed. He never asked us to forgive. It was a nightmare. After the initial blow, my husband and I tried to mend fences but over time we realized that would never happen.
I recall wanting to hate this man and imagine someone beating him even though I knew such thoughts were wrong. I knew I needed to forgive, but I had no idea what to do when this person did not even acknowledge his guilt. At that time, I was homeschooling, and the story of Samson came up in the curriculum. I had always hated that story since it seemed so unfair for an evil man to be used by God. However, as I read, I realized God knew what it took to bring Samson to his knees, and Samson repented.
That enabled me to let go because I knew God had my situation in hand also. He could make my story end the way it should in his timimg. God would take vengence and he woul not over do it or understate it. I could leave it with him.
That experience helps me walk away from hurts. I can let God have the ache because he knows the best thing to do.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you. Eph. 4:29
My guest is Nan Self, and she has written a book called Make Space for Grace. Learn more about Nan here.
I don’t know if you have an itch to be perfect, but I do. I was a straight a student in school, and I worked so hard not to make any mistakes. That tendency to long for good grades has snuck into my everyday life. I cannot bear to err. And I know I fail all the time. The older I get, the more I am aware of the wickedness that resides in me. I wish it was not there.
Romans 3:23 says “For All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Everyone agrees none of us are perfect, but some have a leaning toward different sins. Sin separates us from God, but the consequences of some sins are more extreme than others.
Either way, we can become snared in sin and be unable to free ourselves.
In 2 Peter, the apostle speaks of false teachers when he writes: “They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved.” This verse makes it clear that a person can become a slave of sin. Fortunately, the Apostle John shares “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
Bob Fife was enslaved by homosexuality for twenty years. His book, Out, tells his story of breaking free.
Doesn’t everyone long for that perfect spouse that loves her forever? How can you achieve that?
There’s a huge interest in genealogical research today. People want to know their family tree, and they’ll go to great lengths to do that. Because of the internet, more information of that kind is available. There are several online sites where you can find such information if you are willing to pay. Even in a sluggish economy, people opt in. Family is important, but broken relationships there can also be the more painful than any other. While friendships may not last, we often we don’t expect as much from our friends as we do family.
It’s interesting that while we long to know our family tree. Marrigaes are falling apart. The divorce rate is ridiciulous and many couples aren’t even getting married now. But let’s face it. From Genesis, Marriage forms the core of family. God preformed the first wedding ceremony. A man and a woman had a child and that was the family.
We are nearing valentines day, and there’s talk of love. Because of this emotion, love, people insist they must act as they feel. Red roses and chocolate candy can be found everywhere. Do those things constitute the kind of love that lasts? if not, then why?
Today I have Dianne Barker, and she has been married to the same man for fifty years. Presently she is writing a book about how to have a good marriage. She’s going to give us some tips. 2:00 Tell us the story of your marriage.
8:25 What were some of the differences you saw and how did you learn to accommodate?
11:47 Resolving Conflict
17:10 What if something he said hurt your feelings? What would you do?
21:45 How does your husband express love?
23:00 How did you come to understand how he expressed love?
Raising a Young Modern-Day Princess: Author Karen Whiting
How should a mother raise a ‘modern-day’ princess? That’s a good question. Being a woman today is more complicated than it should be. I don’t mind the women’s movement. After all, those early activists gave us the right to vote in 1920. However, a radical feminist movement has become part of our culture. Those women who lead the movement believe women live oppressed in a male-dominated world. Here are three of their stated goals. First, they want to take the masculine he/him out of our language, which has largely happened. Second, they want to refashion the role of women in society and the home. Third, they want to free women from childbearing through abortion and birth control.
As a result of this movement, many young women are confused about who and what they are. However, moms can have a significant impact on our children as we rear them according to Scripture. My guest today is Karen Whiting. She’s a best-selling author and mother of five. She has written the book, Raising a Young Modern-Day Princess.
2:10 What prompted you to write this book?
2:55 What are some ways a mother can teach her daughter to be a gracious lady?
4:10 How can you foster a teachable spirit?
5:00 It’s natural for mothers to find fault. How can we encourage toward excellence instead?
5:45 What are Mom tools?
7:40 Give us tips on how to get to know our child.
9:20 What if you have a melancholy child?
10:35 What should you do if one child has a birthday and another sibling, who is watching, becomes jealous?
11:35 Give us ways to infuse Scriptural principles into our girls?
15:00 What if your daughter refuses to talk?
15:59 Mothers do a lot. How can a busy mother find ways to climb into her daughter’s mind and personality?
Difficult relatives can make your Christmas miserable. Family can give us the most fulfillment when we actually connect with them, However, they can also cause the most heartache because we love them and long for their approval. With the holidays coming, we all dread grumpy Uncle Bill or feisty Aunt Sally. Past hurts can also intensify the impact of uncomfortable encounters.
My father used to crack the same jokes every year and expect us to laugh. If I didn’t respond to his humor, he’d tease me about how my face looked, as if he thought I was holding in my response.
Mother would make a huge meal for Thanksgiving. I’d select certain foods, but not others, knowing I couldn’t eat it all. She would always point out what I missed, as if I overlooked that dish by accident. Plus she would attempt to get us all to eat more, even when we were full.
My grandmother would make snide comments with an innocent look on her face, and she’d do annoying things. she favored boys over girls and she’d always make sure we knew how much she spent on the boys. If we asked her to do anything, she’d do the exact opposite.
Well, you know how it goes. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Wow! That’s a hefty command.
Today I have two guests. The first is Angela Breidenbach. She’s a life coach and a terribly fun person. The second is Linda Rondeau. Both can give insight on this issue.
