Forgiving can be the hardest thing you do, especially when you must forgive yourself.
When I was in high school, I got a job as a waitress. I don’t think I was a very good one. Looking back, I realize I was very young, and I didn’t know how to handle stress, and that’s what you face as a waitress.
I made mistakes. Tons. A busy night everything went wrong with one table. A lady in the party complained about having too much salad dressing on her salad. I took it to the back and asked for another one, but the everyone felt overwhelmed by the crowds. And he was helping others.
The manager made her another one, but he didn’t hear me say to put the dressing on the side, and I was too shy to tell him he did it wrong. So I took the new salad to her and that made even more angry.
For some reason, they didn’t have certain pieces of silverware, which made no sense because I always took a packet of utensils first. However, they still weren’t happy when I delivered them.
When they left the hostess called me up the register and scolded me again in front of the clients for doing a terrible job. I didn’t really need that because they had already screamed at me enough, but I was almost ready to cry by the time the hostess finished with me.
Once I mess up, I have a hard time letting go of my own emotions. They nag me, and I only feel worse as the day wears on. I’m sure the hostess spoke out of concern for the restaurant’s reputation, but I could hardly drag myself out of the pit that day. I couldn’t offer myself forgiveness.
When we hurt someone’s feelings, it creates a debt of sort. That other person wants the wrong corrected by replacing what they lost and or and apology.
In a family someone can hurt us over and over, which makes forgiveness really hard. Because we know they will probably do it again.
Today I have Lindsey Brackett, and she wrote a book called Still Waters, where forgiveness is a very big theme.