Mother’s Day: Mother and Daughter Duo: Rhonda and Kaley C0-Authors
As a little girl, I looked up to my mother. I can recall sitting on the couch beside her, her admiring her. She was pretty, smart, and was … a mother. I wanted to be like her. As I grew older and got into my teens, I began to feel like we didn’t communicate. We didn’t have a lot in common, or at least I thought so. There was a communication barrier there I failed to understand.
Now that she is gone, I understand her better because she wrote a lot, and I was able to get a peek inside her mind. And I know I’m a lot like her.
Mother’s Day receives mixed reviews. Some of you may have had great mothers, and you enjoy honoring her. Others had a difficult childhood and may try not to repeat the mistakes your mother made. I remember Mother’s day as painful after I lost my mother. Plus those of you with difficult children may find this season painful.
My heart goes out to all of you who might be hurting.
Today I’d like to give young mothers some guidance on doing well, overcoming obstacles and feeling confident in this important job.
I’m reminded of what Paul said to I Timothy: He obviously believed Timothy’s mother and grandmother impacted his life. “For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother, Lois, and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.”
My guests are Rhonda Rhea and her daughter Kaley. They are the authors of Turtles in the Road, an inspirational humorous romance that’s just releasing. They are both TV personalities for Christian Television Network’s KNLJ in mid-Missouri. Rhonda is also a nationally-known speaker, humor columnist and author of 11 other books, including Fix-Her-Upper, a soon-releasing nonfiction project coauthored with Beth Duewel. Rhonda is married to her pastor/husband, Richie Rhea, and they have five grown children. Kaley works at Missouri Baptist University and she and Rhonda both live in the St. Louis area.
Dr. James Dobson wrote a book called, Parenting isn’t for Cowards. What a true statement. What an incredible feeling to hold your first baby in your arms. It’s a miracle! You examine all the fingers and fingernails. And the sweet little feet. I was a registered nurse and I checked all their reflexes. Such an experience. I had five children and I found it overwhelming each time. But I also felt the weight of reasonability. You know that your choices will profoundly impact the baby’s future.
I took psychology classes as part of my nursing, and it was impossible not to notice how many things get blamed on parents. There’s so much to think about.
I can recall wanting the very best for each baby, but I was taken aback by how different each child was. With my first two children, I said I had opposites, and then as I kept having children, they were different too. How many opposites are there? They have different needs and respond differently to every situation. I was intensely aware that I needed godly guidance. I had a disabled child, and after all the experience I had, I needed the Lord’s help.
Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.
What a command! That verse is enough to make you nervous.
Melissa Spoelstra wrote a book called T0tal Family Makeover, and she’s here to share with us.
God make mothers to be nurturers. He wove that desire into our design. In fact, I still want to mother even though my kids are grown, so I use my mothering instincts on my cats.
There’s a story in 2 Kings four about the Shunammite woman. She noticed the prophet Elisha walking past her house, and she chose to help him. Her husband built a room for the prophet so he’d have a place to stay when he passed through town. Elisha was grateful, so he asked what he could do for her. She didn’t give him ideas, but Elisha’s servant pointed out that she had no children. So Elisha prayed for her to have a child.
After the boy’s birth, he went out into the fields where his father was working and became ill. He fell to the ground screaming, “Oh, my head!”
The father immediately ordered his servants to take the child to his mother. His mother held him until noon that day, and then he died. The mom went to find the prophet who raised him from the dead.
Let’s focus on that one phrase, the father said the moment he knew his son was ill “Take him to his mother.” That describes us. (of course, there are exceptions). We care for our children and will move all sorts of obstacles to make life work for them. However, we must learn to let our children go and face life on their own. It’s a tough assignment for us.
Today, my guest is Edie Melson. She had a son who became a soldier and went on active duty to fight. How scary. She wrote the book, While My Child is Away. She will give some tips on mothering that child who is leaving the nest.
2:10 What is the Headless Horseman of Faith?
3:30 How can we as mothers listen to our emotions and yet use them appropriately?
5:24 What about those times we fear failing as a parent?
6:45 Tell us the frog story? What does it teach us?
9:00 Share about loving the people your kids are with.
10:30 You had a son in the military, and you know about the ‘what ifs.’ How can we handle those?
13:00 Leaving the child with the Lord:
14:05 How can you avoid the trap of allowing your kid’s choices to define you?
16:10 What about the stuff that hurts?
[tweetthis]Prayer is the most important thing you can do for your child[/tweetthis]
Difficult relatives can make your Christmas miserable. Family can give us the most fulfillment when we actually connect with them, However, they can also cause the most heartache because we love them and long for their approval. With the holidays coming, we all dread grumpy Uncle Bill or feisty Aunt Sally. Past hurts can also intensify the impact of uncomfortable encounters.
My father used to crack the same jokes every year and expect us to laugh. If I didn’t respond to his humor, he’d tease me about how my face looked, as if he thought I was holding in my response.
Mother would make a huge meal for Thanksgiving. I’d select certain foods, but not others, knowing I couldn’t eat it all. She would always point out what I missed, as if I overlooked that dish by accident. Plus she would attempt to get us all to eat more, even when we were full.
My grandmother would make snide comments with an innocent look on her face, and she’d do annoying things. she favored boys over girls and she’d always make sure we knew how much she spent on the boys. If we asked her to do anything, she’d do the exact opposite.
Well, you know how it goes. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Wow! That’s a hefty command.
Today I have two guests. The first is Angela Breidenbach. She’s a life coach and a terribly fun person. The second is Linda Rondeau. Both can give insight on this issue.
Someone actually advocates fighting? Wow. You’ll love their answers.
“The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable.” James 3:17
When you got married, you probably had stars in your eyes and romance in your heart. Many of us didn’t think much about the happily ever after part, but I grew up thinking peaceable meant hardly any conflict. Here’s a story about that.
We’ve all heard of the Victorian Age, and you probably have bad feelings about that time period. Well, Queen Victoria and her husband Albert were believers. That might surprise you, but they deliberately chose to set an example for the nation.
Victoria grew up in a home without a father. Her English father died when she was an infant, and her mother wasn’t particularly wise about getting along with people. Because her mother hoped to be regent when her daughter ascended the throne.
Victoria thought that no conflict was the goal in marriage. And she was queen. So when she married the man she loved, Prince Albert, she was in charge. And she gave him nothing to do. Plus the British constitution had no role for the prince consort. Well, it wasn’t long before Albert was quite frustrated.
The good news is that Albert was a strong believer, and he set a goal of ministering to his wife/family and the people of Britain. Their beginning was rocky. Victoria would get upset and scream. She was famed for her temper, but he was gentle and firm.
Not authentic, but it represents what actually went on. There’s a story told about Albert locking himself into a room. When she knocked he would ask who is there. If she said the queen. He wouldn’t allow her in. After a couple of years, he was able to convince her he had a better way. And together they built an incredible marriage which was the envy of Europe.
Critical Conversations – Chat with your children on topics that matter
When I was a young mother, I had a deep longing to share my faith with my children. My husband and I made a deliberate choice to spend time with our children and talk about things, all kinds of topics. That’s why we homeschooled. In fact, my husband even taught my kids to argue. He didn’t want that ‘yes it is’ and ‘no it’s not’ nonsense. Instead, he wanted them to engage in sharing facts. The Bible says to give reasons for the hope that is within you and that sort of conversation is what he wanted.
Today as a person with grown kids, my convictions are even stronger. I’ve seen God change people and impossible situations. I’ve seen him at work, and I know people need the Lord. I love that verse in the Psalms where David said, “I have been young, and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his children begging for bread.”
The world is broken and we see evidence of that every day. Proverbs 4:19 says “The way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know over what they stumble.” In contrast, see what God says about knowing him: Psalm 119:165 Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble.
As parents, it’s so important to chat with your children. The kitchen table is a wonderful place to do that. Share what God says and interact with them. If they absorb the world’s ideas, they will suffer the consequences. “Be not deceived, God is not mocked. Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.”
Today Tom Gilson tells us how to tackle a ticklish topic. He’s just written a book called Critical Conversations.