Doesn’t everyone long for that perfect spouse that loves her forever? How can you achieve that?
There’s a huge interest in genealogical research today. People want to know their family tree, and they’ll go to great lengths to do that. Because of the internet, more information of that kind is available. There are several online sites where you can find such information if you are willing to pay. Even in a sluggish economy, people opt in. Family is important, but broken relationships there can also be the more painful than any other. While friendships may not last, we often we don’t expect as much from our friends as we do family.
It’s interesting that while we long to know our family tree. Marrigaes are falling apart. The divorce rate is ridiciulous and many couples aren’t even getting married now. But let’s face it. From Genesis, Marriage forms the core of family. God preformed the first wedding ceremony. A man and a woman had a child and that was the family.
We are nearing valentines day, and there’s talk of love. Because of this emotion, love, people insist they must act as they feel. Red roses and chocolate candy can be found everywhere. Do those things constitute the kind of love that lasts? if not, then why?
Today I have Dianne Barker, and she has been married to the same man for fifty years. Presently she is writing a book about how to have a good marriage. She’s going to give us some tips. 2:00 Tell us the story of your marriage.
8:25 What were some of the differences you saw and how did you learn to accommodate?
11:47 Resolving Conflict
17:10 What if something he said hurt your feelings? What would you do?
21:45 How does your husband express love?
23:00 How did you come to understand how he expressed love?
Greg and Julie Gorman believe your marriage can do more than survive; it can thrive. Let me explain with a story.
My grandmother lived about thirty miles from us, and at times, my mother would allow me to spend a week with my grandmother. It was an adventure, particularly that she had cats, and they fascinated me.
Granny used to wash clothes using a wringer type washer. And that was terribly old-fashioned at that time, cause mom had a real washing machine. But a wringer washing machine would wash the clothes, but not rinse. So Granny would get these huge buckets of clear water, and put the soapy clothes in there. She’d run them through the ringer into the next bucket of clean water. While she was doing that, she would ‘allow’ me to wash the cats.
Now, if you know cats, they hate water. But Granny wasn’t bothered about that. She said you couldn’t ever drown a cat. Well, I heard that I was gonna try. Now I got all scratched up, but I wrestled one of Granny’s cats and until it gave up. Now I was kind enough that I didn’t go on to kill the kitty. But I had to prove granny wrong. All that to say, God is very very creative. I would never have thought of all that. Really! God said, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, and my ways are not your ways.”
I’m sure if it was up to me, I would not have made everyone in the church have a different spiritual gift. I would have had everyone alike so they wouldn’t argue. But God made everyone different. Some are good at some things, while others excel elsewhere. That’s the way God made families too. Husbands and wives are different. Once I got married, my husband saw my emotions and said I wasn’t logical. I wanted to remind him I graduated with honors.
Today I have Greg and Julie Gorman. They have just written Two are Better than One, and I love their perspective on marriage. They teach God has a purpose for your Marriage. It can thrive!
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A married woman soon realizes her husband doesn’t think like she does, and that difference may create tension. A man tends to be goal-oriented and less comfortable expressing emotion. Whereas women are nurturers and long for safety and security to raise our offspring. We can multi-task. He must focus, and when he does, he won’t hear the kids fighting. The distinctions can make it hard to work together.
Let’s go back in history to learn how the creator made us. We know the story of creation. God showed Adam the animals and asked him to name them. I can imagine that. God had the male and female of every species march past him. It probably took all day for him to finish his job. Doubtless, by the time his chore was over, he came to realize he was missing his counterpart. Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18) The words ‘helper fit’ means corresponding to . We are the other half. We are opposites.
Because of our design, male and female responses vary. For instance, if we women face a new and difficult challenge, often we want hugs and encouragement. Maybe we’ll need some sympathy if the transition gets tough. Compare that to King David. He was about to die and hand the kingdom over to his son, Solomon. He said, “I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man.” Men don’t like sympathy. They prefer someone express confidence they can handle hard times. We don’t quite understand that.
A frustrated woman wants to vent her frustrations. If we talk to another woman, we’ll get a listening ear and comfort. Husbands will appear unconcerned about our emotions while they try to fix the problem.
Today Deane Groseclose is my guest. She is the founder of Cross Purpose Ministries and counsels people who have issues in their relationships.
Christmas is a time of joy, and it should be. As believers we celebrate because we understand the hope we have. Jesus died to give us eternal life. When we come to know him we have a reason to live for something bigger than ourselves.
But it also important to realize that because our world is messed up, not everyone will be happy.
For instance, men who serve in the military often struggle with PTSD, which is post traumatic stress. It’s so important for us to understand this disorder so we can offer help.
There’s also a disorder for children called Attachment disorder. A child who has this is fearful of bonding with an adult. They crave it, yet they fear it too. They don’t have appropriate social behavior with others.
Kathi Macias wrote about PTSD and Attachment Syndrome in her latest book. She shares more about both and how we can minister to our solders who struggle to adjust to life after the horrors of battle.
Romans 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Popular media today seldom depicts enduring love in marriage. Many people seem to be on a quest for that special someone who will fulfill their dreams and make them happy, while other choose never to marry. All the while the divorce rate climbs and many despair.
However, you and your spouse can build a great marriage. In Ephesians five God reveals his design for marriage, which depicts the relationship of Christ and the church. God issues that very unpopular command for a wife to submit to her husband. But he also says he man should love his wife enough to die for her.
Greg and Julie Gorman share how God helped them untangle the knots in their relationship. You’ll enjoy listening to both Greg and Julie open their hearts.
Is there hope for a failing marriage? Cynthia Ruchti discusses topics from her new book, As Waters Gone By. Listen to Cynthia share stories hemmed in hope.
