Relationships: Living without Masks and being Safe
My daughter is grown and has her own kitty. Her cat loves to eat and is overweight. The vet has put kitty on a very strict diet, so she is careful how she feeds him. one day I was visiting Joy and the kitty was very obviously trying to get fed earlier than usual. As a veteran mom, I was watching her struggle with her cat, I had images of me trying to make my kids behave.
However, she saw me laughing and assumed I was worried about the cat, instead of enjoying the situation. She huffed into the kitchen and fed the cat early. At that point, I was very worried that she misunderstood me and thought I was pressuring her when I was not.
Later, I apologized and tried to make it clear what I was doing. I didn’t want this to be one of those things that became a tug of war between mother and daughter.
We are made to be in relationships, but the give and take of relationships is not easy.
Today I have Laura Petherbridge. We are going to talk about living openly and yet being safe.
1:55 Why shouldn’t you rescue your friends?
2:25 It feels like you are helping them. Why isn’t that true?
4:05 Could we be doing it because we have a poor self-image?
5:40 What’s the difference in enabling and helping an injured person?
10:20 What drives us to be people pleasers?
12:35 What if you cannot tell your spouse you need to work on your relationship? Isn’t that unhealthy?
14:45 What do you mean by marriage with a mask?
20:00 Why do hurting people hurt others?
23:00 Just becoming a Christian does not solve all your problems.
Ladies, God cares about the choices we make because they impact our lives as well as others.
I appreciate the writings of Francis Schaeffer who is now with the Lord. He pointed out that there is no distinction between sacred and spiritual. All of life, minus sin, is lived out before the eyes of the Lord. He wants us to live in this physical world with integrity in our personal lives as well as our spiritual lives. Because they overlap.
We have a tendency to think that brushing our teeth or exercise is not a godly action. Well, it is. Cause you are caring for the body that belongs to God. I used to think changing diapers did not seem particularly spiritual. But ladies, it is. You are caring for a child, and that is all part of raising that baby with love and graciousness.
We need to live a balanced life where we keep the important things important and focus on eternityLet’s talk about the fruit of the spirit: That is if you are walking with the Holy Spirit’s guidance, your life will have these qualities.
Galatians 5:22 – 23But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Did you hear self-control? That includes not blowing up in anger, but it also includes good diet and good sleep habits.
Laurie Boulden is my guest today. She has just written the book Weighed Down. The main character learns balance in her life.
Women like clothing. That’s a part of who we are. I think about the story of Adam and Eve in the garden, if they had been there long, (I don’t think they were) I suspect Eve would have found a way to decorate and dress up. Maybe it would have been as simple as a flower in her hair, or maybe a necklace of four leaf clovers. Eve was a woman like we are, and we love to enhance our appearance. I have this longing inside to live in the Victorian era when dresses were lush and elegant. But today there’s a trend toward torn and ragged. Not my style!
Unfortunately, we have to watch what we wear because men are attracted by the visual. Job talked about making a covenant with his eyes, and he lived a long time ago. Scholars think Job was one of the first books penned, and yet he knew to watch where his eyes landed.
Look at what Paul wrote to his mentee, Timothy: “ Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments; but rather by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness.” (I Timothy 2:9)
How can we obey this passage and not look frumpy? When I was pregnant with my fifth child, I said I would never dress blah. People would say I was worn out. I like to sizzle with an outfit that coordinates. Many of you ladies feel the same way.
Today my guest is Allie Shirley. Allie teaches about modest clothing and clothing website where you can buy your next outfit.
2:00 What is modest?
4:20 What are some things you can think of when you go shopping?
God make mothers to be nurturers. He wove that desire into our design. In fact, I still want to mother even though my kids are grown, so I use my mothering instincts on my cats.
There’s a story in 2 Kings four about the Shunammite woman. She noticed the prophet Elisha walking past her house, and she chose to help him. Her husband built a room for the prophet so he’d have a place to stay when he passed through town. Elisha was grateful, so he asked what he could do for her. She didn’t give him ideas, but Elisha’s servant pointed out that she had no children. So Elisha prayed for her to have a child.
After the boy’s birth, he went out into the fields where his father was working and became ill. He fell to the ground screaming, “Oh, my head!”
The father immediately ordered his servants to take the child to his mother. His mother held him until noon that day, and then he died. The mom went to find the prophet who raised him from the dead.
Let’s focus on that one phrase, the father said the moment he knew his son was ill “Take him to his mother.” That describes us. (of course, there are exceptions). We care for our children and will move all sorts of obstacles to make life work for them. However, we must learn to let our children go and face life on their own. It’s a tough assignment for us.
Today, my guest is Edie Melson. She had a son who became a soldier and went on active duty to fight. How scary. She wrote the book, While My Child is Away. She will give some tips on mothering that child who is leaving the nest.
2:10 What is the Headless Horseman of Faith?
3:30 How can we as mothers listen to our emotions and yet use them appropriately?
5:24 What about those times we fear failing as a parent?
6:45 Tell us the frog story? What does it teach us?
9:00 Share about loving the people your kids are with.
10:30 You had a son in the military, and you know about the ‘what ifs.’ How can we handle those?
13:00 Leaving the child with the Lord:
14:05 How can you avoid the trap of allowing your kid’s choices to define you?
16:10 What about the stuff that hurts?
[tweetthis]Prayer is the most important thing you can do for your child[/tweetthis]
Difficult relatives can make your Christmas miserable. Family can give us the most fulfillment when we actually connect with them, However, they can also cause the most heartache because we love them and long for their approval. With the holidays coming, we all dread grumpy Uncle Bill or feisty Aunt Sally. Past hurts can also intensify the impact of uncomfortable encounters.
My father used to crack the same jokes every year and expect us to laugh. If I didn’t respond to his humor, he’d tease me about how my face looked, as if he thought I was holding in my response.
Mother would make a huge meal for Thanksgiving. I’d select certain foods, but not others, knowing I couldn’t eat it all. She would always point out what I missed, as if I overlooked that dish by accident. Plus she would attempt to get us all to eat more, even when we were full.
My grandmother would make snide comments with an innocent look on her face, and she’d do annoying things. she favored boys over girls and she’d always make sure we knew how much she spent on the boys. If we asked her to do anything, she’d do the exact opposite.
Well, you know how it goes. Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Wow! That’s a hefty command.
Today I have two guests. The first is Angela Breidenbach. She’s a life coach and a terribly fun person. The second is Linda Rondeau. Both can give insight on this issue.
How can you be a phenomenal grandparent? A few months ago, I became a grandparent for the very first time. First, I saw my daughter in labor. What an experience. That wasn’t my favorite part of motherhood. Second, I gazed at this beautiful baby girl who is now part of my family, and I found it hard to express the emotions that washed over me. I recalled my own grandmother and my mother. Plus I thought of the day I had my first child.
I love that precious little girl with every cell in my body, but in many ways being a grandmother is different. Grandmothers aren’t mothers. We aren’t in the driver’s seat. Instead, we sit in the back seat. We don’t name the baby, nor do we make decisions about how the baby is raised. While we still want the best for that child, we play a secondary role in the child’s life.
So how can you be a good grandmother? I think about the passage the Apostle Paul wrote to Timothy, “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.”
God does work in families. He is, after all, the originator of the family. He does want us to impact the next generation. I love the words of Dr. Mary Manz Simon, “We are life veterans. We bring wisdom, experience, and a clear sense of what’s important.”
Dr. Mary Manz Simon is my guest today and she has just written Faith Footprints with my Grandchild.
2:05 Why did you write this book?
3:10 As a grandmother, what have I left behind?
3:30 Is there a meaning behind the book title?
4:45 What are some worries grandmothers have?
5:45 The word grandmother sounds old-fashioned. How can we get past that?
6:55 How can you build a relationship with your grandchild?
[tweetthis]Leave a legacy with your grandchild[/tweetthis]