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Stress Reduction

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Learn Ways to Handle Difficult Relatives that Make Christmas Miserable

December 9, 2016
Christmas

Get Along with Difficult Relatives at Christmas

Difficult relatives can make your Christmas miserable. Family can give us the most fulfillment when we actually connect with them, However, they can also cause the most heartache because we love them and long for their approval.  With the holidays coming, we all dread grumpy Uncle Bill or feisty Aunt Sally. Past hurts can also intensify the impact of uncomfortable encounters.

My father used to crack the same jokes every year and expect us to laugh. If I didn’t respond to his humor, he’d tease me about how my face looked, as if he thought I was holding in my response.

Mother would make a huge meal for Thanksgiving. I’d select certain foods, but not others, knowing I couldn’t eat it all. She would always point out what I missed, as if I overlooked that dish by accident. Plus she would attempt to get us all to eat more, even when we were full.

My grandmother would make snide comments with an innocent look on her face, and she’d do annoying things.  she favored boys over girls and she’d always make sure we knew how much she spent on the boys. If we asked her to do anything, she’d do the exact opposite.

Well, you know how it goes. Romans 12:18  says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”  Wow! That’s a hefty command.

Today I have two guests. The first is Angela Breidenbach. She’s a life coach and a terribly fun person. The second is Linda Rondeau. Both can give insight on this issue.

 

Learn more about Angela here.

Author and Speaker

Angela Breidenbach

3:10 Give us suggestions Angela.

4:00 Open ended questions

5:00 What can you do if your relative is unlikely to succumb to your charms?

7:00 How can we engage the elderly relatives?

7:50 Start  with good memories.

11:50 Ask questions about their stories

20:30 Use mad libs

20:55 How might coloring books help?

32:26 How do  secrets play into a difficult relationship?

34:00 Talk about forgiveness.

Learn more about Linda here.

Linda Rondeau

 

Balance, Bipolar, Boundaries, Church, Communication, Crisis Preparedness, Depression, Dreams, Emotions, Encouragement, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Love, Loving the disabled, Mental illness, Stress Reduction, Suicide, Trust

The Bipolar Experience

October 2, 2016
The bipolar Experience

The Bipolar Experience:

Have you ever been shunned? I’ve always been a little shy and studious. When I was in ninth grade, I took a Spanish class and found it challenging. A friend who was also learning Spanish and I wrote to each other in Spanish in order to learn faster.  I was also taking a Home Ec class that year, and when we finished our sewing project, we could work on other things. Since I was free, I tackled my Spanish epistles  home ec class.

I happened to sit near a group of girls who were very playful and silly. When they found out what I was doing, they found it quite funny. And they began to crack jokes and tease. I brushed them off at first. But as other girls watched, the number of participants grew and things got vicious.  Pretty soon half the room was ridiculing me.

One day after class, I burst into tears and the teacher asked me why. I spilled out my story, and she was horrified.

But I will never forget the feeling of being laughed at. Being weird, odd

If you have a medical problem, people are compassionate, but if you have a mental illness, it’s a different story.

Ephesians 4:32 says we should be kind to each other, tenderhearted. I love that word. It means you ache for someone who hurts. You have compassion.

I have a friend who is bipolar, but she won’t tell anyone because she hears awful stories told of bipolar people. She doesn’t want the label. But these folk are ill, and they need us to be tenderhearted.

Today I have Leeann Jefferies who was a model for Eileen Ford, and author, Eva Marie Everson. Together they wrote Leeann’s story: The Bipolar Experience.

2:15 What is bipolar

3:40 Eva Marie, this is been part of your life too. Please share your story.

3:55 Describe cycling

6:00 Leeann, tell me how you feel

6:50 What does a high feel like?

10:15 What’s the answer for the manic phases?

 

[tweetthis]A bipolar person needs love and understanding[/tweetthis]

[tweetthis]Be part of the team for your bipolar friend[/tweetthis]

Betrayal, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Crying out to God, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Finding Meaning, Grief, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Marriage, Perseverance, Prayer, Stress Reduction, Time, Walking by Faith

Remaining Sane When Life Erupts

September 9, 2016

Remaining Sane When Life Erupts

I can recall when I was a child in class. We were getting ready to study the human body, and I was so excited to learn what my internal organs did. I had some strange idea that my organs did wonderful things for the world. How disappointing to discover they merely kept me alive. Of course, in adolescence, the question of identity rose.Those questions are important to ask because it’s difficult to live without meaning.On the other hand, it’s very easy to build our self-worth around what we do.

When I finished school, I became a nurse, but I gave up that career to raise five children. That made me really sad, but I’ve been giving up my whole life in some ways. Later I found myself as a young mother who nursed her babies, but that didn’t last either. I grieved that role when I weaned my youngest child. Then I saw myself as a homeschool mother. That job lasted longer, but that distinction disappeared also. Each time my job description changed, I felt pain and had to adjust. I had to rethink life as a child of God. Someone Jesus loved and died for, but that transition can be tough.

Sometimes life really falls apart. How can we pull the shreds of life back together? How can we get through those times of disappointment when we wonder who we are?

Cynthia Rutchti is my guest. She has written Song of Silence. In this novel, the main character loses her gifting and finds herself afloat.

4:30 The main character, Lucy, was giving to others from her gift of music. How can we find that sweet spot so we can bless those around us?

6:30 Lucy was based on a real person who ministered through music.

8:40 Music contains rests, and Lucy taught her students to ‘play the rests.’ How can we do that by using those hard times in life?

10:10 What if we resist that reset time?

11:20 What does a healthy identity look like? How can Christians get there?

13:50 How can we achieve a healthy marriage in later years like Lucy and her husband?

16:25 Lucy’s family did things to comfort her she didn’t like. How can we avoid facing that in a crisis?

19:00 Lucy’s doctor sent her to a club. What was that great idea about?

20:00 Explain the role of arts in education

23:20 What is the main message of the book?

Learn more about Cynthia Ruchti here.

[tweetthis]Hold onto Hope even when our song is silenced[/tweetthis]

[tweetthis]God will restore our song in ways we don’t expect.[/tweetthis]

Bible, Commitment to Christ, Crisis Preparedness, Crying out to God, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Heart of the Matter, Laugh, Living through heartache, Making choices, Organization, Praise, Prayer, Responsiblity, Rest, Safety, Stress Reduction, Trust, Worry

Crisis Preparedness

August 13, 2016
Don't Panic

Crisis Preparedness: Don’t panic

I don’t know if you’ve ever had a time when you felt panicked, but I have. My youngest son is disabled. With numerous overlapping issues, he’s severe. I was homeschooling him, and I saw intelligence despite his barriers. A series of events led us to seek complete testing. The idea of testing bothered me because I worried how well he could perform  with the number of problems he had. In  time found a neuro-psychiatrist who came highly recommended. The doctor administered test over a few days.

At last came our final appointment. My husband and I would meet with the doctor for test results and a final diagnosis. That was the scariest day.  The diagnosis he received would impact him for the rest of his life.I can recall my heart pounding and my chest tightening at the thought of driving to the office.  I survived by praising God. All day I sought the Lord. I praised him for the air conditioning in the car, the blue sky, the car, the fluffy clouds, the dress I had on, my favorite color. Those prayers kept me calm enough to hear what the doctor had to say.

Think about the words Paul wrote in Philippians four: “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and thanksgiving make your request known to God and the peace that passes all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.” Those words are easy to say. Doing it can be much harder.

Today I have Maureen Pratt. She’s written a book called, Don’t Panic, which teaches how to prepare for a crisis.

3:00 The story behind the book

5:00 Living through tornado

9:45 How do you react in a crisis

11:45 If you are hyper focuses

12:20 Deep Breathing

18:00 Spiritual preparation for a crisis

19:20 The role of friends

21:20 Crisis preparedness kit

26:00 How can a crisis be a good thing?

Don't panic

Maureen Pratt

Learn more about Maureen here.

 

Tweetables:

[tweetthis]Prepare for a crisis[/tweetthis]

[tweetthis]Learn how you react to a crisis[/tweetthis]

Abuse of Authority, Bible, Commitment to Christ, Doing Family God's Way, Educating your children, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Goals, Heart of the Matter, Laugh, Leaving a legacy, Mother's Day, Mothering, Parenting, Stress Reduction, Trust, Walking by Faith, Worry

Mother’s Day Encouragment

May 6, 2016

Mother’s Day Encouragement

Mother’s Day sounds like a day to celebrate, but many women don’t. Those who struggle with infertility or someone who just lost her mother or a child may long to ignore the festivities. I’ve even discovered some ladies plan activities, so they keep busy and forget. Maybe your child has strayed. Mother’s day hurts. If that describes you, my heart goes out to you.

As Mother’s Day approaches, I can’t help thinking about the importance of the job. The Apostle Paul spoke to Timothy, his son in the faith: “I am reminded of your sincere faith, a faith that dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice and now, I am sure, dwells in you as well.” As caregivers and nurturers, we have a tremendous impact on our children. Our careful mothering can ensure a child’s emotional and spiritual health while poor mothering can damage both. Scripture exhorts us to teach our children with a balance of love and discipline. Our efforts will lay the foundation for the child’s security and confidence. As it says in Deuteronomy, “teach them (God’s precepts) diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

On the other hand, I’m overwhelmed by the enormity of the job.  Each child in your home possesses a complex personality with unique needs. That child expects you to understand him and know his motives. That’s impossible, especially if you have more than one child. Add to that the day to day work of living, meals, overseeing physical growth, and monitoring emotional maturity.  As a child grows, you have lessons, ball games, recitals, finals. Life goes by faster and there’s more to do.

I came to motherhood armed to do it right. I’d studied psychology in school and determined to avoid the pitfalls. Whew! I poured myself into the task and gave it my all. Unfortunately,  I made plenty of mistakes, and I learned how much I needed God.  I’m too small, but my heavenly father gives wisdom when I cry out to him.

Jane Rubietta shares her heart with us. She has just completed Heartbeat of a Mother. Listen in for Mother’s Day encouragement.

Writer and Speaker

Jane Rubietta

Learn more about Jane here.

 

Bible, Boundaries, Commitment to Christ, Emotions, Encouragement, Freedom, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Making choices, Ministry using your gift, Organization, Parenting, Rest, Stress Reduction, Time, Walking by Faith

Stressed Out? Learn Self-Care

April 1, 2016
Selfcare

Stressed Out? Learn Self-Care with Sue Badeau

History:

In the OT, the tabernacle was the place where God dwelt with man. The Lord gave very specific instructions about the way his house was to be built and decorated.  Later, the Israelites built the temple Solomon’s temple and then Herod’s temple.Today, however, the Bible teaches that our bodies are the temple of God. The place we meet is just a building. Notice the wording in I Corinthians: 

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. This  addresses immorality, but most scholars have used this verse to say we should take care of our bodies since the Holy Spirit dwells in us.

Abusing out body isn’t appropriate either. Note the Apostle’s words in Colossians: “Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh.

On the other hand, we have Epaphroditus, who nearly died for the work of Christ, risking his life to complete what was lacking in your service to me. (Philippians 2) This verse confuses us because the Apostle Paul commends his friend for his commitment and service to the Lord. Does that mean we can overlook caring for ourselves in order to minister to someone? If that is true, many of us should and will ignore our physical health in order to serve God.

Practical Help:

So, what level of self-care is acceptable? Sue Badeau will guide us on this topic. She’s the mother of twenty-two children, and she knows about how to care for yourself. You may learn more about Sue here.

Author and Speaker

Sue Badeau

 

Bible, Bondage breaker, Boundaries, Commitment to Christ, Emotions, Guilt, Making choices, Parenting, People Pleaser, Stress Reduction, Walking by Faith, Worship

People-Pleaser Recovery

March 18, 2016
People Pleasers

 

People-Pleaser Recovery:

Most of us have a longing to please others, otherwise, we wouldn’t be very social. Someone who doesn’t care at all about the opinion of others is called a sociopath. That desire to be social, however,  can become a crippling addiction and hold you captive. Let’s look at the problem.

When I homeschooled my kids, I taught them a fact was something  true, something you could prove, or a set of events that really happened. On the other hand, an opinion was someone’s interpretation of those facts. People observe you and form an opinion of you and of your choices. You can’t control that, even though I’d love to make everyone like me.

I recall when my daughter was little. She’d become furious with me if I chose to do something she didn’t like. As a mother, I knew I must pray and keep the future in mind as I made decisions for the family. That meant being strong when my decisions made my kids angry.

In the first century, the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the church at Corinth. Some of the church members had been baptized by Apollas and some by Paul, and they took sides, dividing up the body of Christ. One person would say he couldn’t participate in something because Apollos would not do that while someone else would insist on following a different teaching from another teacher.  So Paul wrote the Corinthian church.  Let’s look at what he said.

1 Corinthians 4:3 – 4 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges.

Isn’t’ that interesting? Paul brought them back to God, the one person who matters. God holds the position of judge, so he’s the one who matters. Getting to Paul’s position can be tricky. Today I have Jennifer Slattery. She’s going to share how the Lord helped her overcome her addiction to being a people pleaser.

Jennifer Slattery

Jennifer Slattery

You can find Jennifer’s website here.

 

 

Bible, Boundaries, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Dating, Design, Doing Family God's Way, Educating your children, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Guilt, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Love, Marriage, Parenting, Prayer, Romance, Sex, Stress Reduction, Trust, Valentine's Day, Walking by Faith

Valentine’s Day: Love Your Husband

February 12, 2016
Love Your Husband

Valentine’s Day: Love Your Huband:

Today’s media overwhelms us with talk of the sensual side of love. Clothing, perfume, toothpaste, and other merchandise will help you achieve‘sexy’ or ‘hot.’ TV and movies depict unmarried couples engaging in sex as if were no more important than lunch. As Christians, we believe sex belongs in marriage. The world might see our convictions as negative and prudish. But, on the positive side, since sex belongs in marriage, we should embrace and encourage sensuality in that context. 

 Years ago when I was shopping with my girls, I stopped to admire a fancy nightgown. One of my daughters looked horrified and commented that only a prostitute would wear such a garment. I knew right there it was time for a lesson, and I said,”Don’t ever call a married woman a prostitute.” Looking back, I probably came on too strong, because she frowned and walked off, rolling her eyes. But that’s a message the church needs to give to married couples and our young people. We should be shouting a big yes when we discuss sex after the ceremony.

 I encourage women to be careful about relationships with men other than their husbands. Hormones work well. Things can make things get out of hand and create problems. I tend to be a little distant or even a little cold in that situation. Often I’ll address the man’s wife if she’s present. However, a woman can and should let go with her hubby. Come on, ladies. Flirt a little. It’s fun and appropriate. Check out Song of Solomon 1:2 where Solomon and his wife talk about their love for each other:”Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.”

Many of us, however, get a bit stuck because of our self-image or a painful past, but there’s hope. Shannon Ethridge is my guest for Valentine’s Day. She has geared her entire ministry toward helping women get past their hangups and enjoy sex.

Best Selling author and Speaker

Shannon Etheridge

To learn more about Shannon and her ministry, click here

 

 

 

Balance, Bible, Boundaries, Church, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Design, Educating your children, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Fellowship with believers, Freedom, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Parenting, Praise, Prayer, Responsiblity, Rest, Stress Reduction, Technology, Walking by Faith, Work

Finding Rest Amidst Busy Lives

January 29, 2016
Rest isn't optional

Finding Rest Amidst Busy Lives

Women today are very busy. We all carry cell phones and have access to Facebook, Twitter, texting, Instagram and Pinterest and other social media. in addition to all our family responsibilities, we pack our calendar with activities to benefit out children and use our microwaves to prepare quick meals. Most of us don’t set aside much time to rest, even though we like the thought. I find it interesting that God talked about rest in the early chapters of Genesis, and it’s a huge theme in Scripture.

I believe God knew how crazy our lives would become. He talked about rest in the early chapters of Genesis. It’s a huge theme in Scripture. Consider Genesis 2:2. “And on the seventh day God finished his work, and he rested on the seventh day.” Take a moment and think about that. God doesn’t need anything, yet he rested once he completed the creation. I don’t think he rested because he was weary. God doesn’t get tired. Instead, he wanted to show us a pattern, a balance of work and rest. I really need that.

This was a typical day for me when my children were young: a crying child woke me in the morning, and I hurried out of bed to get breakfast while his sibling hung onto my housecoat whining. Another maddening day. I stopped a squabble while trying to pay bills and then hurried off to an appointment while watching kids poke each other in the back seat. Ballet, Bible study, runny noses, a hasty lunch, a child who won’t stop crying from a minor injury. Fifteen text messages and three phone calls. The postman needed my signature.  All day I ran nonstop and then fell into bed and stared at the ceiling, wishing for sleep. I’d think about resting and laugh.

Does that sound like you?

Yet Hebrews 4: 9-10 says, “So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his.” What does God mean by Sabbath rest?

Today I have Gwyn McCaslin as my guest. She’s going to give us her thoughts on rest.

Gwyn is a counselor in Sugar Creek, Ohio. Learn more about her here.

You can learn more about rest here.

Marriage and Family Counselor

Counselor Gwyn McCaslin

Anger, Bible, chocolate, Church, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Crying out to God, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Freedom, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Laugh, Living through heartache, Parenting, Prayer, Stress Reduction, Walking by Faith, Worry

Too Blessed to be Stressed

January 23, 2016

Too Blessed to Be Stressed

I could win an award for worry. Years ago, when I attended nursing school, we studied various diseases while learning how to care for each type patient. As I read over the symptoms, I would swallow hard and remember having all those things happen to me. I’d decide I had that particular disease. After worrying over every malady we studied, I saw the pattern and tried to stop.

But I didn’t stop worrying, especially during those early years of marriage. If my husband was a little late coming home from work, I would imagine him in a smashed up car on the side of the road. He’d be dead every time. And then I’d envision the police coming to my door. At times when he was very late, I would think about what I might wear to his funeral. By that time, my emotions would be so intense, that I’d lose it when he walked in the door. The worry turned to fury, and I wouldn’t want to talk to him.

It took me a long time to understand how my thoughts produced anxiety, but I finally learned to pray about my fears and think about good things. It’s still hard, even today. Like a dog licks his wounds, I want to focus on the part of life that’s not right.

Philippians 4:6 says, “do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

Further along in the chapter, it says, “…whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

I believe God put those verses there just for me. As I grow older, I’m learning more and more ways to handle stress the right way.

Today I have Debra Coty with me. She’s a delightfully funny lady who has written a book called Too Blessed to be Stressed. She’s going to share her heart with us so we can even chuckle a little as we let go of anxiety.

She has a cookbook, Too Blessed to be Stressed Cookbook. This month her readers are competing in a contest to lose weight. You can learn more about Debora here.

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