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People Pleaser

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Worried About Perfection? Here’s Some Useful Advice

June 19, 2017

Worried about Perfection? Here’s Some Useful Advice

1 Peter 1:15 but 1alike the Holy One who called you, 2bbe holy yourselves also in all your behavior;

That’s a tough command. Nevertheless, that’s what God asks us to do. None of us are perfect, but I sure want to be.  I was the at the top of my classes in school, and I always hated the fact that I missed that one question on the test.

As an adult, I’m always trying to improve and grow as a person.

But, I’m out of school, and I don’t get grades anymore. Plus my kids are grown, I’m realizing more and more how that desire drives me. I also think about that passage in Phil 3 where Paul said he strives for the resurrection of the dead. He wanted to achieve the perfection he would have in his resurrected body.

This is a great goal, but how do we live with ourselves when we face our fallen nature? Where’s the boundary of Romans 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus?”

Striving to become as godly as we can while recognizing and forgiving ourselves for failing. That’s a huge job.

Today my guest is Doc Hensley, he is Professor of Communication (Professional Writing concentration) in the Communication Department at Taylor University in Upland, Indiana, and an annual judge for the Evangelical Press Association Awards and the Christy Fiction Awards. He has around five dozen books in print. One of his latest, Pseudonym, gets inside a woman’s mind and deals with several issues we face such as perfectionism and abuse.

1:55 What is the balance between trying to be holy and our desire for perfection?

3:05 How did you climb inside a woman’s mind?

6:08 The consequences of marrying an insecure man.

8:18 Do we women want the applause of others?

Learn more about Doc here.

Doc Hensley

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Abuse of Authority, Anger, Authority of Scripture, Bible, Bible Study, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Educating your children, Emotions, Freedom, Heart of the Matter, Parenting, People Pleaser, Submission, Truth, Worry

Attention Control Girls: Learning to Let Go!

June 2, 2017
Learning to Let Go

Attention Control Girls: Learning to Let Go!

Have you ever had a friend pull you off to the side and say, “Watch out for Emmaline. She’ll be telling you what to do if you aren’t careful.”?

No one likes a woman who has to run every event herself, and our kids really hate it once they are grown. At that point, they are ready to choose for themselves.

A couple years ago, my husband and I started ballroom dancing. We love it. However, I have learned things about myself. The man leads while dancing. His job is to move forward and make his way around the room, avoiding other dancers. When I am facing him, I can’t see where we are going.  I am so accustomed to getting things done that relaxing so he can lead is a real challenge. It takes real effort, but these dance lessons taught me how much I needed to be in control.

What a great spiritual lesson for all of us. Look at what the Psalmist says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. When you trust God, you must rest in him, knowing he can do what you cannot.

Today Shannon Popkin is my guest. She has just written the book, Control Girl.

Shannon’s bio;

I’m Shannon Popkin. I’m a wife and mom, a writer and speaker, a small group leader and Bible teacher. I’m so excited about my new book, Control Girl: Lessons on Surrendering Your Burden of Control from Seven Women in the Bible.,  which released in January 2017). With God’s help, I’m on a path that leads from Control Girl to Jesus Girl.
As a speaker, I love combining my love for humor and storytelling and with my passion for Jesus. I speak for ladies’ events, retreats, and moms groups. On my blog, I share stories from my life, which I hope will make you smile, and will encourage you to follow Jesus more closely. I also share posts from the other sites that I contribute to, including True Women.
Learn more here.
Control Girl

Shannon Popkin

Bible, Church, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Forgiveness, Freedom, Guilt, Heart of the Matter, Hope, Love, Making choices, Parenting, People Pleaser, Sex, Surrender to Christ, Venereal Disease, Walking by Faith

Bob Fife’s Experience: Gaining Freedom

March 17, 2017
Gaining Freedom

Bob Fife Shares his Experience Gaining Freedom

I don’t know if you have an itch to be perfect, but I do. I was a straight a student in school, and I worked so hard not to make any mistakes.  That tendency to long for good grades has snuck into my everyday life. I cannot bear to err.  And I know I fail all the time. The older I get, the more I am aware of the wickedness that resides in me. I wish it was not there.

Romans 3:23 says “For All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Everyone agrees none of us are perfect, but some have a leaning toward different sins. Sin separates us from God, but the consequences of some sins are more extreme than others.

Either way, we can become snared in sin and be unable to free ourselves.

In 2 Peter, the apostle speaks of false teachers when he writes:  “They promise them freedom, but they themselves are slaves of corruption. For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved.” This verse makes it clear that a person can become a slave of sin.  Fortunately, the Apostle John shares you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Bob Fife was enslaved by homosexuality for twenty years. His book, Out, tells his story of breaking free.

Learn more about Bob here.

2:10 Did the church reach out to you as you entered the lifestyle?

3:10 What was your family situation growing up?

4:38 What was your relationship like with your father?

6:20 I understand you were molested as a child.

9:00 A lot of people believe a homosexual cannot claim faith in Christ. Tell me how you did.

10:35 What keeps people in the lifestyle?

11:44 What was the catalyst that brought you out of perversion?

13:45 You said the homosexual community has conditional love. Can you explain that?

 

Bob Fife

Anger, Avoiding humdrum, Boundaries, Christmas holiday, Communication, Doing Family God's Way, Emotions, Family, Forgiveness, Guilt, Heart of the Matter, Love, Making choices, Parenting, People Pleaser, Responsiblity, Stress Reduction, Walking by Faith

Learn Ways to Handle Difficult Relatives that Make Christmas Miserable

December 9, 2016
Christmas

Get Along with Difficult Relatives at Christmas

Difficult relatives can make your Christmas miserable. Family can give us the most fulfillment when we actually connect with them, However, they can also cause the most heartache because we love them and long for their approval.  With the holidays coming, we all dread grumpy Uncle Bill or feisty Aunt Sally. Past hurts can also intensify the impact of uncomfortable encounters.

My father used to crack the same jokes every year and expect us to laugh. If I didn’t respond to his humor, he’d tease me about how my face looked, as if he thought I was holding in my response.

Mother would make a huge meal for Thanksgiving. I’d select certain foods, but not others, knowing I couldn’t eat it all. She would always point out what I missed, as if I overlooked that dish by accident. Plus she would attempt to get us all to eat more, even when we were full.

My grandmother would make snide comments with an innocent look on her face, and she’d do annoying things.  she favored boys over girls and she’d always make sure we knew how much she spent on the boys. If we asked her to do anything, she’d do the exact opposite.

Well, you know how it goes. Romans 12:18  says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”  Wow! That’s a hefty command.

Today I have two guests. The first is Angela Breidenbach. She’s a life coach and a terribly fun person. The second is Linda Rondeau. Both can give insight on this issue.

 

Learn more about Angela here.

Author and Speaker

Angela Breidenbach

3:10 Give us suggestions Angela.

4:00 Open ended questions

5:00 What can you do if your relative is unlikely to succumb to your charms?

7:00 How can we engage the elderly relatives?

7:50 Start  with good memories.

11:50 Ask questions about their stories

20:30 Use mad libs

20:55 How might coloring books help?

32:26 How do  secrets play into a difficult relationship?

34:00 Talk about forgiveness.

Learn more about Linda here.

Linda Rondeau

 

Bible, Bondage breaker, Boundaries, Commitment to Christ, Emotions, Guilt, Making choices, Parenting, People Pleaser, Stress Reduction, Walking by Faith, Worship

People-Pleaser Recovery

March 18, 2016
People Pleasers

 

People-Pleaser Recovery:

Most of us have a longing to please others, otherwise, we wouldn’t be very social. Someone who doesn’t care at all about the opinion of others is called a sociopath. That desire to be social, however,  can become a crippling addiction and hold you captive. Let’s look at the problem.

When I homeschooled my kids, I taught them a fact was something  true, something you could prove, or a set of events that really happened. On the other hand, an opinion was someone’s interpretation of those facts. People observe you and form an opinion of you and of your choices. You can’t control that, even though I’d love to make everyone like me.

I recall when my daughter was little. She’d become furious with me if I chose to do something she didn’t like. As a mother, I knew I must pray and keep the future in mind as I made decisions for the family. That meant being strong when my decisions made my kids angry.

In the first century, the Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the church at Corinth. Some of the church members had been baptized by Apollas and some by Paul, and they took sides, dividing up the body of Christ. One person would say he couldn’t participate in something because Apollos would not do that while someone else would insist on following a different teaching from another teacher.  So Paul wrote the Corinthian church.  Let’s look at what he said.

1 Corinthians 4:3 – 4 But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges.

Isn’t’ that interesting? Paul brought them back to God, the one person who matters. God holds the position of judge, so he’s the one who matters. Getting to Paul’s position can be tricky. Today I have Jennifer Slattery. She’s going to share how the Lord helped her overcome her addiction to being a people pleaser.

Jennifer Slattery

Jennifer Slattery

You can find Jennifer’s website here.

 

 

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