Doesn’t everyone long for that perfect spouse that loves her forever? How can you achieve that?
There’s a huge interest in genealogical research today. People want to know their family tree, and they’ll go to great lengths to do that. Because of the internet, more information of that kind is available. There are several online sites where you can find such information if you are willing to pay. Even in a sluggish economy, people opt in. Family is important, but broken relationships there can also be the more painful than any other. While friendships may not last, we often we don’t expect as much from our friends as we do family.
It’s interesting that while we long to know our family tree. Marrigaes are falling apart. The divorce rate is ridiciulous and many couples aren’t even getting married now. But let’s face it. From Genesis, Marriage forms the core of family. God preformed the first wedding ceremony. A man and a woman had a child and that was the family.
We are nearing valentines day, and there’s talk of love. Because of this emotion, love, people insist they must act as they feel. Red roses and chocolate candy can be found everywhere. Do those things constitute the kind of love that lasts? if not, then why?
Today I have Dianne Barker, and she has been married to the same man for fifty years. Presently she is writing a book about how to have a good marriage. She’s going to give us some tips.
2:00 Tell us the story of your marriage.
8:25 What were some of the differences you saw and how did you learn to accommodate?
11:47 Resolving Conflict
17:10 What if something he said hurt your feelings? What would you do?
21:45 How does your husband express love?
23:00 How did you come to understand how he expressed love?
A married woman soon realizes her husband doesn’t think like she does, and that difference may create tension. A man tends to be goal-oriented and less comfortable expressing emotion. Whereas women are nurturers and long for safety and security to raise our offspring. We can multi-task. He must focus, and when he does, he won’t hear the kids fighting. The distinctions can make it hard to work together.
Let’s go back in history to learn how the creator made us. We know the story of creation. God showed Adam the animals and asked him to name them. I can imagine that. God had the male and female of every species march past him. It probably took all day for him to finish his job. Doubtless, by the time his chore was over, he came to realize he was missing his counterpart. Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Genesis 2:18) The words ‘helper fit’ means corresponding to . We are the other half. We are opposites.
Because of our design, male and female responses vary. For instance, if we women face a new and difficult challenge, often we want hugs and encouragement. Maybe we’ll need some sympathy if the transition gets tough. Compare that to King David. He was about to die and hand the kingdom over to his son, Solomon. He said, “I am about to go the way of all the earth. Be strong, and show yourself a man.” Men don’t like sympathy. They prefer someone express confidence they can handle hard times. We don’t quite understand that.
A frustrated woman wants to vent her frustrations. If we talk to another woman, we’ll get a listening ear and comfort. Husbands will appear unconcerned about our emotions while they try to fix the problem.
Today Deane Groseclose is my guest. She is the founder of Cross Purpose Ministries and counsels people who have issues in their relationships.