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Fighting in Marriage

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Worried About Perfection? Here’s Some Useful Advice

June 19, 2017

Worried about Perfection? Here’s Some Useful Advice

1 Peter 1:15 but 1alike the Holy One who called you, 2bbe holy yourselves also in all your behavior;

That’s a tough command. Nevertheless, that’s what God asks us to do. None of us are perfect, but I sure want to be.  I was the at the top of my classes in school, and I always hated the fact that I missed that one question on the test.

As an adult, I’m always trying to improve and grow as a person.

But, I’m out of school, and I don’t get grades anymore. Plus my kids are grown, I’m realizing more and more how that desire drives me. I also think about that passage in Phil 3 where Paul said he strives for the resurrection of the dead. He wanted to achieve the perfection he would have in his resurrected body.

This is a great goal, but how do we live with ourselves when we face our fallen nature? Where’s the boundary of Romans 8:1 “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus?”

Striving to become as godly as we can while recognizing and forgiving ourselves for failing. That’s a huge job.

Today my guest is Doc Hensley, he is Professor of Communication (Professional Writing concentration) in the Communication Department at Taylor University in Upland, Indiana, and an annual judge for the Evangelical Press Association Awards and the Christy Fiction Awards. He has around five dozen books in print. One of his latest, Pseudonym, gets inside a woman’s mind and deals with several issues we face such as perfectionism and abuse.

1:55 What is the balance between trying to be holy and our desire for perfection?

3:05 How did you climb inside a woman’s mind?

6:08 The consequences of marrying an insecure man.

8:18 Do we women want the applause of others?

Learn more about Doc here.

Doc Hensley

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anger, Bible, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Divorce, Emotions, Family, Fellowship with believers, Fighting in Marriage, Forgiveness, Guilt, Heart of the Matter, Keeping our focus, Love, Making choices, Male Temperment, Marriage

Valentines Day Secrets: Love + Life Long Marriage

February 10, 2017

Valentines Day Secrets: Love + Life Long Marriage

Doesn’t everyone long for that perfect spouse that loves her forever? How can you achieve that?

There’s a huge interest in genealogical research today. People want to know their family tree, and they’ll go to great lengths to do that.  Because of the internet, more information of that kind is available. There are several online sites where you can find such information if you are willing to pay. Even in a sluggish economy, people opt in. Family is important, but broken relationships there can also be the more painful than any other. While friendships may not last, we often we don’t expect as much from our friends as we do family.

It’s interesting that while we long to know our family tree. Marrigaes are falling apart. The divorce rate is ridiciulous and many couples aren’t even getting married now. But let’s face it. From Genesis, Marriage forms the core of family. God preformed the first wedding ceremony. A man and a woman  had a child and that was the family.

We are nearing valentines day, and there’s talk of love. Because of this emotion, love,  people insist they must act as they feel. Red roses and chocolate candy can be found everywhere. Do those things constitute the kind of love that lasts? if not, then why?

Today I have Dianne Barker, and she has been married to the same man for fifty years. Presently she is writing a book about how to have a good marriage. She’s going to give us some tips.
2:00 Tell us the story of your marriage.

8:25 What were some of the differences you saw and how did you learn to accommodate?

11:47 Resolving Conflict

17:10 What if something he said hurt your feelings? What would you do?

21:45 How does your husband express love?

23:00 How did you come to understand how he expressed love?

26:10 Different temperament

Dianne Barker

Dianne Barker

 

Learn more about Dianne here.

 

 

Anger, Bible, Boundaries, Commitment to Christ, Communication, Doing Family God's Way, Educating your children, Emotions, Encouragement, Family, Fighting in Marriage, Forgiveness, Freedom, Home Atmosphere, Parenting, Respect, Rest, Trust

Fight with your Spouse and Grow Together

September 2, 2016
Fight or not to fight

Fight with your Spouse and Grow Together

Someone actually advocates fighting? Wow. You’ll love their answers.

“The wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable.” James 3:17

When you got married, you probably had stars in your eyes and romance in your heart. Many of us didn’t think much about the happily ever after part, but I grew up thinking peaceable meant hardly any conflict. Here’s a story about that.

We’ve all heard of the Victorian Age, and you probably have bad feelings about that time period. Well, Queen Victoria and her husband Albert were believers. That might surprise you, but they deliberately chose to set an example for the nation.

Victoria grew up in a home without a father. Her English father died when she was an infant, and her mother wasn’t particularly wise about getting along with people. Because her mother hoped to be regent when her daughter ascended the throne.

Victoria thought that no conflict was the goal in marriage. And she was queen. So when she married the man she loved, Prince Albert, she was in charge. And she gave him nothing to do. Plus the British constitution had no role for the prince consort. Well, it wasn’t long before Albert was quite frustrated.

The good news is that Albert was a strong believer, and he set a goal of ministering to his wife/family and the people of Britain. Their beginning was rocky. Victoria would get upset and scream. She was famed for her temper, but he was gentle and firm.

Not authentic, but it represents what actually went on. There’s a story told about Albert locking himself into a room. When she knocked he would ask who is there. If she said the queen. He wouldn’t allow her in. After a couple of years, he was able to convince her he had a better way. And together they built an incredible marriage which was the envy of Europe.

My guests today are Ron and Deb DeArmond. They wrote the book, Don’t Go to Bed Angry.

3:04 What gave rise to the book?

3:42 Leaving your baggage

4:35 Arguments in the DeArmond house

5:10 Their parameters

5:40 How to set parameters

6:40 Recovery from a heated discussion

8:20 Listening actively

9:00 Knowing how you process information is key

12:00 How to ‘table’ an intense discussion

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